So many of the “If only” times in our lives can have such positive results.  For me, I think that focussing on “If only” can be irrelevant to our lives, and in some situations resulting in just making us unhappy or depressed.  In thinking about this topic, I can only be grateful for the decisions we have made and the results that we have lived, rather than things we have missed out on in our lives.

The majority of the significant “If only” occasions that really have made a significant improvement in my life are positives.  So I have listed some of these positive “if only” occasions in our lives. 

“If only” I had stayed close to the office when travelling to Melbourne on business, instead of travelling across town to stay with my mother, I WOULD NOT have spent the last night and morning of her life with her.

“If only” we had not left Canberra to move to Benalla, I MIGHT not have joined U3A and met so many new friends.  I miss some of my Canberra friends but we can still catch up with those in Canberra when travel permits, and new friends have enriched our lives as.

“If only” we had bought one of the other houses we looked at in Benalla, I MAY not have had such great neighbours.  Of course I MAY have met just as many different great neighbours.

“If only” we had not supported our daughter in her move to Perth to train at the Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts at 16 years old, there may have been several consequences.  She MAY have resented our decision, causing lots of tension.  But she WOULD NOT have ended in a difficult relationship which fortunately did not last.  And through several of her own “if only” decisions she would not have her current career and happy family situation.

“If only” my husband had not seen the career page in the local newspaper, our son MAY have not trained as an officer in the Merchant Navy ending up working in a job he loves, and which has given him a very comfortable lifestyle.  Of course he may have lived closer to us, but his own life could not have been as enriched.


Joy Shirley
September 2021

I have not found a significant “If only” that really would have made a significant improvement in my life.  So I have listed some “if only” occasions that did not mean much or more often resulted in a positive result. 

“If only” I had stayed close to the office when travelling to Melbourne on business, instead of travelling across town to stay with my mother, I WOULD NOT have spent the last night and morning of her life with her.

“If only” we had not left Canberra to move to Benalla, I MIGHT not have joined U3A and met so many new friends.

“If only” we had bought one of the other houses we looked at in Benalla, I MAY not have had such great neighbours.  But I MAY have met just as many different great neighbours

“If only” we had not supported our daughter in her move to Perth to train at the Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts at 16 years old, there may have been several consequences.  She MAY have resented our decision, causing lots of tension.  But she WOULD NOT have ended in a difficult relationship which fortunately did not last.  And through several her own “if only” decisions would not have her with her current career and happy family situation.

“If only” my husband had not seen the career page in the local newspaper, our son MAY have not trained as an officer in the Merchant Navy, ending up in sound relationship and working in a job he loves, and which has given him a very comfortable life style.

So many of the “If only” times in our lives can have such positive results, or repercussions that really do not matter.  For me, I think that focussing on “If only” can be irrelevant to our lives, and in some situations resulting in just making us unhappy or depressed.  In thinking about this
topic, I can only be grateful for the decisions we have made and the results that we have lived, rather than things we have missed out on in our lives.

Joy Shirley
September 2019