U3A Benalla and District Inc.
  • Home
  • Benalla
    • Benalla
    • Benalla District
    • Who, What and Where? - Benalla Rural City
  • About
    • Our U3A
    • President's Page
    • Executive Committee
    • Policies
    • Convenors >
      • Convenors
      • Convenors A - Z 2025
    • Program Ideas
    • Newsletter
    • Website
  • Groups
    • Groups A - Z
    • Recent Groups >
      • Armchair History
      • Chess
      • Cooking Solo
      • Demystifying Psychology Course
      • Enjoying the Internet (S2)
      • Family Research Drop In
      • Sky's the Limit
    • Archived Groups >
      • A - M >
        • A Different View Of German History
        • Armchair History (British)
        • Armchair Traveller
        • Booker Reading Group
        • Bushwalking - Mid-week Walks
        • Comparative Religion
        • Facebook for Mentors
        • Family Research - Advanced
        • German - Beginners
        • Google Apps/TS Plus
        • History - An Introduction to Western Civilization
        • History - Moments in Australian History
        • Hot Topics/The News - Fact or Fiction?
        • 'In the Lap of the Gods'
        • Investment I (1996 -2015)
        • Jane Austen Book Club
        • Legal Matters (Short Course)
        • Meditation
        • Making the Most of the Internet
      • O - Z >
        • On Target - Learning to Shop Online
        • Opera
        • 'Over There'
        • Rail and Tourism
        • Russian Literature
        • Tech Savvy Apple - 'Pages'
        • Tech Savvy Apple Devices - Intermediate
        • Tech Savvy Community Projects
        • Travel Group
        • Wise Guys Book Group
        • Zoom Short Course
  • A-Ch
    • A-Ch
    • 'A Taste of Art'
    • American History
    • Art Appreciation
    • 'As Time Goes By'
    • Australian Shares and Stock Market
    • Be Connected - Android
    • Be Connected - Tech Advice
    • Birdwatching
    • Brain Games
    • Bushwalking - Easy Walks
    • Car Torque
    • Cards '500'
    • Chat n' Chew
  • Co-E
    • Ch - E
    • Coin Collectors
    • Collectors
    • Colour Mixing and Watercolour Techniques - Botanical
    • Come and Learn Croquet
    • Community Singing
    • Creative Writing
    • Demystifying Psychology - Discussion Group
    • Demystifying Psychology - Perception
    • Exercises for Fun
    • Exploring the Universe
    • Exploring Writing Children's Books
  • F-Pa
    • F- Pa
    • Family Research
    • Film Discussion
    • French at the Table
    • Garden Appreciation
    • Garden Team
    • German >
      • German Home
      • Lessons
    • Let's Talk Books
    • Lifeball >
      • Home
      • Lifeball Videos
    • Mahjong
    • Meet and Mingle
    • Music Appreciation
    • Page Turners
    • Patchwork and Craft
  • Ph-W
    • Ph -W
    • Photography
    • Play Reading
    • Politics & Current Affairs
    • Recorder
    • Singing for Fun
    • Spanish
    • Stock and Land
    • Sustainability
    • Tech Talks
    • Train Buffs
    • Ukes4Fun
    • Wine Appreciation
  • Join
    • Join Us
    • Membership Application/Renewal Form
    • Program Guide
    • Timetable with Dates
    • Venues and Maps
  • News
    • News Update
    • May Newsletter
    • 'What's On' Calendar 2025
    • Monthly Calendar
    • Website & Facebook
  • FB
  • Gallery
  • Links
    • Resources and References
    • U3A Network Victoria
    • Seniors Online Victoria
    • U3A Albury Wodonga
    • U3A Beechworth (Indigo U3A)
    • U3A Bright
    • U3A Goulburn Valley
    • U3A Murrundindee East
    • U3A Wangaratta
  • Contact

'Family Traits' #1

25/2/2019

0 Comments

 
I have referred to the women in our family as matriarchal, but maybe that is overstating the situation?  It is that they are strong, intelligent and independent women.

My maternal grandmother lived with my uncle for some years prior to her death at 96.  She owned close to what is seen today as a boarding house, although there was no food provided.  They were just small private rooms with shared bathroom and kitchen facilities.  She had a business account at a bank that was in the Melbourne CBD.  If she wanted to go to the bank, she would walk two miles to the closest bus stop, catch the bus to town, undertake the necessary business, and then take a bus back home.  I can remember my uncle ringing my mother on more than one occasion asking if we knew where she was.  He had lost her!  She maintained this independence until around 12 months prior to her death.

My mother, like many of her generation, was the mainstay of our family.  Dad was one of the many people who returned from the war a changed and damaged man.  Today he would be diagnosed as suffering from PTSD.  Whenever there were issues in the family, it was Mum who had to deal with them.  I have been told a story, although the details are a bit hazy.   We had some holiday flats up the hill from where we lived outside Healesville.  A visitor went crazy in some way yielding a knife.  Mum had to deal with this as the stress caused Dad to collapse with severe asthma.

At age 16 our daughter moved to Perth to train at the Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts (WAAPA).  She spent around six years living independently from the family.  Work in the field of dance is not easy to come by.  Rather than allow us to support her, she found other work – teaching ballroom dancing.  Some years later, her first marriage broke down.  Her husband at the time refused to attend any counselling with her, so she went by herself.  The counsellor suggested that she try to stay away for three weeks but doubted she would be able to do this.  She never went back!  The counsellor saw her as a little girl who needed her husband to look after her.  Her ex-husband had seen her as a little toy.  She was the strong one in the relationship, and he found it hard to cope without her.

There are other stories I can tell – a young niece who started a website selling horse accessories when she found the existing sites were rubbish, and now has a shopfront, a collective of young horsey mums, a new book published last year.  Another niece whose husband works in the maritime industry brought up her young sons to be competent young men with her husband away at least half the time.

So, a family trait was and continues to be strong independent women.

Joy Shirley
​February 2019
0 Comments
    'Our Stories'

    Joy's page

    Picture

    Topics

    All
    'Advice'
    'A Love Letter To Travel'
    'An Event That Changed My Life'
    'A Scary Moment'
    'A Turning Point'
    'Bucket List'
    'Bush Fires In Lorne'
    'Covid Moment(s)'
    Creative Writing
    'Curved Ball'
    'Endings'
    'Entrance Memories'
    'Failure'
    'Faking It'
    'Family Traditions'
    'Family Trait ' #2
    'Family Traits' #1
    Festival Hall
    'Fiesta Of Festivities'
    'Fish Out Of Water'
    'Found'
    Gliding
    'Good Vibrations'
    'I Broke It'
    "I Can Do This"
    'Ideas Piggy Bank'
    'If Only'
    'I Grew Up In...'
    'I Put My Hand In My Pocket'
    'I Was There'
    'I Was There:Eyjafjallajökull
    'I Was There: Melbourne Olympics
    'I Was There: Royal Albert Hall'
    'Lost In Music'
    'Making Waves'
    'Marriage...?'
    'My Mother's Tea Set'
    'My Other Life'
    'New In Town'
    'New In Town - Benalla'
    'Odd One Out'
    'One Moment
    One Moment (or Two)
    'On The Job'
    'Out Of The Blue'
    'Renovations'
    'Right Here
    Right Now'
    Roy Bailey
    'Running With Scissors'
    'Scotland'
    'Someone Who Shaped Me'
    'Stock And Land'
    'Taking A Risk'
    'The Ghost'
    'The Sky Is The Limit!'
    'The Unexplained'
    This (Writing) Life
    This Year (2020)'
    'Time'
    Travel Tale - Christchurch'
    "Travel Tales'
    'Travel Tales'
    'Travel Tales: 1950s'
    'Travel Tales: Noosa 2017'
    'Triggers'
    Triggers
    'U-Turn'
    'What I Was Wearing'
    'Winging It'

    Archives

    September 2022
    February 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    May 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    December 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    November 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    February 2018
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016

    RSS Feed

We acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which we meet and pay our respects to their elders - past, present and emerging.
Picture
News
​Newsletter
Facebook Page
​
Program Suggestions
​CO-VID Safety

U3A Benalla & District Flier 2025
Membership Application/Renewal 
​
Semester 1 Program Guide 2025
Semester 1 Timetable with Dates 2025
Developed and maintained by members, this website showcases U3A Benalla 
​Photographs - U3A members; Benalla Art Gallery website; ​Weebly 'Free' images;Travel Victoria and State Library of Victoria