Music seems to be a trait that has moved down the generations in the family, at least on the maternal side. 

My mother had always wanted to study music at the university, along with Mathematics.  This was not a common thing for a young lady at the time, but she was a talented pianist.  Unfortunately it was the start of the Great Depression, and it was not possible.  But something seems to have been passed down through the family.

I am not a talented musician myself, but did spend some time learning the piano, after nagging for some years to be given lessons.  And from the time our children were young, we have always had a piano in the home – must start playing again.
 
Both our children learnt musical instruments from a relatively young age.  Both learnt the piano as a starting point. 

Our son went on to learn guitar.  He proved to be very talented, and played different styles – acoustic, rhythm, electric.  For three years while we lived in Adelaide, he attended a High School with a special music program.  He still loves playing his guitars, yes, multiple guitars.  And listening to music is an important relaxation for him.

Our daughter learnt the flute, but perhaps her musical bent was more along the lines of her dance, thinking perhaps of her body as the instrument she worked with most.

Now both our children have children following in their footsteps with a love of music.  Our eldest grandchild plays drums and bass guitar with a school band.  His younger brother is also playing guitar very competently.  Our daughter’s son is playing multiple instruments.  At the end of primary school twelve months ago he applied to get into the music program in the High School he would attend and was successful.

And that is not where it ends.  Each of my siblings has at least one child who has learnt an instrument at some time.  But my sister won the jackpot I suspect.  Her two daughters are very talented musicians.  As a mature age student my eldest niece returned to university and as well as gaining a degree in music and French, went on to qualify as a music teacher.  She taught for several years, until changing career direction.  Her sister attended the Conservatorium of Music at Melbourne University.  She is now a highly respected teacher of music in NSW.  All her boys sing in choirs as well as playing instruments.  The two eldest boys were accepted into the Conservatorium High School in Sydney (the third is too young), although not attending now.  They are now living in country NSW in a town known for its music (David Helfgott lives nearby), with my niece teaching music in the local High School.

And as I write this, my husband and a friend are playing music in our home!!!

Joy Shirley
​February 2019

I have referred to the women in our family as matriarchal, but maybe that is overstating the situation?  It is that they are strong, intelligent and independent women.

My maternal grandmother lived with my uncle for some years prior to her death at 96.  She owned close to what is seen today as a boarding house, although there was no food provided.  They were just small private rooms with shared bathroom and kitchen facilities.  She had a business account at a bank that was in the Melbourne CBD.  If she wanted to go to the bank, she would walk two miles to the closest bus stop, catch the bus to town, undertake the necessary business, and then take a bus back home.  I can remember my uncle ringing my mother on more than one occasion asking if we knew where she was.  He had lost her!  She maintained this independence until around 12 months prior to her death.

My mother, like many of her generation, was the mainstay of our family.  Dad was one of the many people who returned from the war a changed and damaged man.  Today he would be diagnosed as suffering from PTSD.  Whenever there were issues in the family, it was Mum who had to deal with them.  I have been told a story, although the details are a bit hazy.   We had some holiday flats up the hill from where we lived outside Healesville.  A visitor went crazy in some way yielding a knife.  Mum had to deal with this as the stress caused Dad to collapse with severe asthma.

At age 16 our daughter moved to Perth to train at the Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts (WAAPA).  She spent around six years living independently from the family.  Work in the field of dance is not easy to come by.  Rather than allow us to support her, she found other work – teaching ballroom dancing.  Some years later, her first marriage broke down.  Her husband at the time refused to attend any counselling with her, so she went by herself.  The counsellor suggested that she try to stay away for three weeks but doubted she would be able to do this.  She never went back!  The counsellor saw her as a little girl who needed her husband to look after her.  Her ex-husband had seen her as a little toy.  She was the strong one in the relationship, and he found it hard to cope without her.

There are other stories I can tell – a young niece who started a website selling horse accessories when she found the existing sites were rubbish, and now has a shopfront, a collective of young horsey mums, a new book published last year.  Another niece whose husband works in the maritime industry brought up her young sons to be competent young men with her husband away at least half the time.

So, a family trait was and continues to be strong independent women.

Joy Shirley
​February 2019