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Stand up Comedy Set - 2015 (alternative ending)

23/11/2015

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For years I wondered where one of my testicles had gone.  I mean I might have been born with just one, but I suspected I might have been fairly normal and have actually been allocated two.  I know some males have three but that is pretty unusual apparently.

Anyway,  I was a slow developer and in my mid teens I started to wonder why I only had one.  I continued wondering for the next half century or so largely because I was too embarrassed to ask my mother.

Not that the one I had didn't  work; I'd already fathered three children.

Anyway after having three children it became necessary to restrain the one I still had and I booked in to a Shepparton hospital to have a vasectomy.

With my farm background I knew it could be a pretty straightforward operation. If you had rams you didn't want to breed from, you picked up an instrument called a burrdizzo. Rather like the jaws of a modern rabbit or dog trap you close them across the scrotum and above the testicles to sever the sperm supply line as it were. However the skin is not affected.

Well, I thought my op might be as simple and as fast as that, but there was a standard procedure and it was a bit more complicated.

I thought that as only one testicle was involved, it was a bit rich charging the whole Medicare standard fee. Two thirds was all that was justified in my book.

To add insult to injury, when I came to drive home I found my car's battery was flat, a bit like me, and I had to push it to start it.

Eventually when I was in my seventies and my mother was in her nineties, I popped the question. It took so long to ask because I was very shy when I was young and it just took me a long time to get over it.  


According to my mother, who was very matter of fact about it, a country doctor in Victoria had removed my appendix when I was 13.  My mother said he had found the errant testicle--apparently it had not descended as it was supposed to and he had whipped it out with the appendix.

Reflecting back, I wonder that I never asked my mother earlier.  And I wonder that she never thought to tell me.

Thanks for being here!


David Palmer
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    'Our Stories'

    David's page

    One of our original members who has written many stories over the past five years or so, these days David is writing the column for the 'Stock and Land' group he convenes each month.  He still sends in the occasional story  and pop up in class from time to time if he isn't helping someone out on a farm somewhere. 

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    '500 words'

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    'Advice'
    'A Farm Forged Friendship'
    'A Fortight's Walk In Spain'
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    'How We Met'
    ''I Grew Up ... '
    "I Quit!"
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    'I Was There''
    'Joanie Delighted In Rural History'
    Joan Palmer
    'Lost And Found'
    'My Mother The Writer'
    'My Other Life'
    'New Boy In Town'
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    Right Now'
    'Shaped By Childhood'
    'Stand Up Comedy Set'
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    'The Year That Changed Me - 1974'
    'This Beat Up Has No Reference To Journalism'
    'Ticket? Don't Take It!
    'Vibrational Big City Move'
    'Walking The Camino'

    Other writing by David 

    As David convenor of the Stock and Land group, David writes the monthly newsletter reports also posted in our 'Stock and Land' news blog.

    A new member of the Family Research group, David's family stories are now starting to appear under 'David Palmer' on the Family Research page.

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