Why is it that I only managed to get out the reminder email for today’s class hours beforehand, when I’d planned to do so all weekend?
I do seem to have a problem with time – my family would say it is probably genetic, as my mother had this problem too.
However, something new is happening. I seem to be ‘receiving’ more triggers and experiencing strange and more frequent ‘déjà vu’ moments.
Recently, for ‘As Time Goes By’, I wrote about a friend becoming pregnant ‘out of wedlock’ during our first year as teachers at a small rural high school near the South Australian border in 1970. Since sharing this story, I have often found myself back in the sparsely furnished prefabricated flat I lived in opposite the school, remembering the loneliness I felt then, relating it to how I’m feeling now. With my only geographically close family member on holiday in France at the time, perhaps I felt the sense of distance from family I felt then, perhaps I feel the type of homesickness experienced so deeply then.
Also last month, when a member of the Family History class showed me a family she was seeking to find on ancestry.com, I realised that I had been quite close two of the people she was looking for in the 1970’s. Looking at an electoral roll on ancestry.com, recognising the address that I had visited so often, suddenly I was visiting my dear friends again. Searching out photos of the family from my albums to show her at the next class, I found myself transported back to that time, watching ‘video replays’ in my head of ‘times gone by’.
Memories have also been triggered by people from my childhood reappearing in my life in Benalla through U3A. Geraldine McCorkell (nee Smith) brings up memories of growing up in Clayton after the war. I ‘knew of’ Geraldine and my father often spoke of “Morrie Smith”, Geraldine’s father. Cheryl Turner reminds me of my years and friends at Malvern Girls Secondary School in Melbourne; Pauline Bailey and local artist Ivan Durrant of my ‘matric’ year at Oakleigh High School.
Memory triggers seem to be coming in from all directions, really – for example, my sister posting photographs of Gaudi’s cathedral in Barcelona last week brought back a stirring of memories of my own visit to Barcelona in 1977, almost half a century ago now.
Is it part of aging? Triggers to memories do seem to be occurring more often, acting like a lens opening up on that time in my life. The vividness of the memories evoked is sharp, the contexts elaborated to include textures, tones, touch.
Is something happening in my brain? Perhaps there a biological function behind all this, a purpose behind losing short term memory but keeping long term memory?
I am left wondering, not only why so many triggers are ‘being received’, but why the memories evoked are enveloped in déjà vu, ‘aura’ like moments in time?
…Oh, my goodness, I’d better ‘snap out of it’ and ‘get a move on’! Our next ‘As Time Goes By’ session is only hours away!
Once again, my sense of time is awry; once again I haven’t kneaded and edited my story to 500 words as I should have!
Once again…. I’m… ‘just in time’…