'When you look behind you, you see the future in your footprints' from Songlines[1]
The themes and features of my life story[2] only become clear by looking in my rear vision. Significant events and decisions are keys to how my story unfolds and offers any sense of a linear progression. To what degree was I in control of thus unfolding? Were outside ‘forces’ influencing or impacting upon the twists and turns of this journey or was it all just pure chance?
Writing this in my eighth decade I am inclined to believe that there were interventions unseen or unrecognised at the time. In summary, I am left with a very deep appreciation for my third decade (1968-1978) and its consequences for the rest of my life. By 1978 I was beginning to find peace after a very difficult decade and was drawn back to the ‘religious experience’ of my late teens, where I experienced a love that is ‘beyond all understanding'.
My second wife Jennifer and my two sons, Soren and Nick were the personification of this love.
At the end of the 70’s my three pillars, family, church and state had collapsed. My biological family were intact, but were quite distant. Although supportive of me personally, there was not a sense of their understanding or emotionally supporting the decisions I had made and was making. And, my first marriage was irredeemable after the departure of my best friend, Elizabeth.
Secondly, I had lost faith in both the political and public administration systems that I experienced as corrupted by power and expediency.
Thirdly, I had become disillusioned with the church which had trained me to be a parish minister and treated my family as political pawns, rather than a couple with particular skills and needs.
I was disillusioned, alienated and angry. In fact, I felt quite anarchic.
It would be three chance encounters which would change my direction completely.
The first was a call which I received while working for a community service agency. Quite accidentally, Jennifer’s call was transferred to me. Finding that we had a great deal in common, we chatted and after a number of chats we decided to meet. I nearly blew it by arriving at our blind date in my grey and yellow seersucker jacket with my sandwiches and to her bemusement, I to share. My chance meeting with Jennifer became an invitation to begin rebuilding my life.
The second encounter was with one of my adult education students, who advised me that she was standing for election to the ACT Assembly, representing the Greens. She had no chance of winning but felt the desire to act on her deep-felt values and beliefs. This brought me back to the political realm. I later joined the ACT Greens and, a number of years later, was the Convenor of the party when we negotiated to become the key player in any future ACT government.
The third encounter happened more recently, when algorithms operating within Facebook introduced me to the mystics and opened me up to the experience of contemplative prayer.
My three pillars have been restored. I am left to acknowledge that my 75th year has been the best year of my life..... so far.
Graham Jensen
May 2024
[1] The term 'Songline' describes the features and directions of travel that were included in a song that had to be sung and memorised for the traveller to know the route to their destination.
[2] The theory of narrative identity postulates that individuals form an identity by integrating their life experiences into an internalized, evolving story of the self that provides the individual with a sense of unity and purpose in life.
The themes and features of my life story[2] only become clear by looking in my rear vision. Significant events and decisions are keys to how my story unfolds and offers any sense of a linear progression. To what degree was I in control of thus unfolding? Were outside ‘forces’ influencing or impacting upon the twists and turns of this journey or was it all just pure chance?
Writing this in my eighth decade I am inclined to believe that there were interventions unseen or unrecognised at the time. In summary, I am left with a very deep appreciation for my third decade (1968-1978) and its consequences for the rest of my life. By 1978 I was beginning to find peace after a very difficult decade and was drawn back to the ‘religious experience’ of my late teens, where I experienced a love that is ‘beyond all understanding'.
My second wife Jennifer and my two sons, Soren and Nick were the personification of this love.
At the end of the 70’s my three pillars, family, church and state had collapsed. My biological family were intact, but were quite distant. Although supportive of me personally, there was not a sense of their understanding or emotionally supporting the decisions I had made and was making. And, my first marriage was irredeemable after the departure of my best friend, Elizabeth.
Secondly, I had lost faith in both the political and public administration systems that I experienced as corrupted by power and expediency.
Thirdly, I had become disillusioned with the church which had trained me to be a parish minister and treated my family as political pawns, rather than a couple with particular skills and needs.
I was disillusioned, alienated and angry. In fact, I felt quite anarchic.
It would be three chance encounters which would change my direction completely.
The first was a call which I received while working for a community service agency. Quite accidentally, Jennifer’s call was transferred to me. Finding that we had a great deal in common, we chatted and after a number of chats we decided to meet. I nearly blew it by arriving at our blind date in my grey and yellow seersucker jacket with my sandwiches and to her bemusement, I to share. My chance meeting with Jennifer became an invitation to begin rebuilding my life.
The second encounter was with one of my adult education students, who advised me that she was standing for election to the ACT Assembly, representing the Greens. She had no chance of winning but felt the desire to act on her deep-felt values and beliefs. This brought me back to the political realm. I later joined the ACT Greens and, a number of years later, was the Convenor of the party when we negotiated to become the key player in any future ACT government.
The third encounter happened more recently, when algorithms operating within Facebook introduced me to the mystics and opened me up to the experience of contemplative prayer.
My three pillars have been restored. I am left to acknowledge that my 75th year has been the best year of my life..... so far.
Graham Jensen
May 2024
[1] The term 'Songline' describes the features and directions of travel that were included in a song that had to be sung and memorised for the traveller to know the route to their destination.
[2] The theory of narrative identity postulates that individuals form an identity by integrating their life experiences into an internalized, evolving story of the self that provides the individual with a sense of unity and purpose in life.
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