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'I changed my mind - or actually, my prayer'

7/6/2023

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​Our daughter, Bronwyn, was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 34 when her youngest child was 16 months old. It was a week before my sixtieth birthday and we had organised a party of family and friends. That was the first thing that changed - but only by a fortnight. That was the way Bron dealt with cancer – go to Melbourne for an operation and then get on with life.

She always insisted that she was not sick, she just had cancer. And whenever she read an obituary talking of people battling cancer, she made it very clear that that terminology was not to be used for her.

She lived in Yarrawonga. We lived an hour and a half away in Tallangatta and got to know that road very well. There were three lively children and we cared for them on many occasions.

Bron lived with that cancer for nine years and lived every day as if her last. There were a number of operations, chemotherapy and radiotherapy courses but they were just distractions. Her real life was in between.

A spare piece of council land became Mary Court Park with playground equipment provided. A kinder for children with special needs was started with Bronwyn as the qualified teacher. Bron loved singing and travelled with friends to be part of a singing group in Wodonga.  I was also part of that group and loved sitting next to Bron.

The family went on a trip to Europe and this coincided with Bronwyn’s 40th. birthday so on her return, she organised a forty and a half party
.
Soon after the Taylors had moved to Yarrawonga, Bob Jane moved to build a casino on a weedy island close by. The protest group which overturned the plan  then worked to turn Chinaman’s Island into a delightful walking track. Over 1,000 trees and shrubs were planted, Rotary built a shelter, nesting boxes were constructed in a pond next door to this and it became a tourist attraction.

Bronwyn’s family moved to Albury for the last few months of her life. Her final day in Yarrawonga was spent in watering the new shrubs near the shelter. If you go there today you will find the Taylor Walking Track and a plaque beside the pond with the title
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Bron's Pond
And underneath the dedication of the pond to Bron’s memory is a quote from Anne Frank:
‘How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.’

But what has all this got to do with me changing my mind?

Needless to say, not a day went past that I didn’t ask God to make Bronwyn well.  But one evening when I was in tears, God spoke to me. “Carmyl, you’re praying the wrong prayer – you know she won’t get better so why do you keep on asking?” Straight after that two verses from the Bible came into my mind. I knew them from a song.

‘I thank my God each time I think of you and when I pray for you, I pray with joy.’

It was actually Paul writing to his friends in Philippi, but now it was for me. From that day on my prayer was one of thanks and joy, not fear and hopelessness. I wrote the verses out for Bron and she put them up in the kitchen and from then on whenever I thought of Bron, it wasn’t with foreboding, it was with joy.


​Carmyl Winkler

June 2023
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    Our Stories

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    Carmyl joined 'As Time Goes by' in 2022.  Carmyl's first story,  'I Was There', took us to Indonesia in the early 1960's.

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