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Grandmothers

20/5/2015

 
They were so very different, my Grandmothers.  On my mother's side was Ida the mother of one, Grace.  Tall and straight, so very sure she was right because whoever she was fighting with at the time was so very wrong.  She was forever changing churches as she often disagreed with the Minister.  Well, when I say changing Churches that meant between Protestant Churches, definitely not Roman Catholic, with the emphasis on Roman.  Yes, Ida loved to fight.  She disliked Jack my father, her daughter Grace's choice of husband, so much that she avoided contact with my brothers because she claimed they reminded her of Jack.  My second brother was named John Douglas and as my father's name was really John, Grandma always called my brother Douglas.  Not a very likeable person but she was my grandmother and she adored me, so I got away with most things.  Even so I did not like her for I loved my brothers and would defend them against all comers.

Then there was "Pet" or Ethel on my father's side, the mother of six.  She was known as 'Mammy' by all the cousins and there were a large number of these, especially compared to the other side where there were none.  Mammy was soft, buxom and a great one for a cuddle.  She was known by one and all as a strong community worker.  I suspect she was also a shrewd business woman as she ran small shops and owned several houses.  Mammy was a widow when I knew her.  I admired her as well as loved her and always wanted to grow up to be like her.  Then, when I was in grade three, the greatest of tragedies struck.  This leader in our family got sick.  Adults stood around at different meeting places talking in low and serious voices.  Then one day Dad said he was taking me to see Mammy.  To this day I don't remember my brothers being there, although there was the usual tribe of cousins.  I was hurt and bewildered; this was not my beloved Mammy.  No one told me this was goodbye.  She was pale, thin and weak, lying in bed with her usual plaited hair spread out on the pillow.  Everyone was sad.  I desperately wanted to go to the funeral, even though I wasn't sure what it was, but children in those days were not allowed to funerals.  I sent a red rose from the garden and told my teacher, who was indifferent to my pain and sense of great loss.  I remember being cross that the day went as usual with the dreaded spelling and Arithmetic.

As children do, I got my revenge although I didn't know it at the time.  One day in the train back from her home in Upwey to my home in Melbourne with Grandma Ida I asked her why the best went first and mentioned Mammy.  Grandma knew what I was getting at, for from that day I was on a par with my brothers. 

Lost friendship

2/5/2015

 

As soon as I put the phone down I knew that I wouldn't see her again.  I had explained it was a long way and we were
recovering from visitor fatigue but she took it as a knock back which I've since guessed it was.  Godfrey and I were now living by the sea on the south coast of NSW which was a far cry from the inland Victorian city of Castlemaine.  It was there that we had lived for seven good years and had made what I thought was a strong friendship with our families while we female members of the families completed a Liberal Arts degree at La Trobe University Bendigo campus.

Jean was younger than me and on her second marriage with five children, two from her present marriage to Brian, who was much younger than Jean and three from her first. Despite our age difference, (her younger children were the same age as my grandchildren), we had formed a bond through study. Not only did we share travel arrangements with our cars we chose our subjects together so that lectures and tutorials always allowed us to arrive home  to Castlemaine in time for the school bus. Godfrey and I were closer to retirement with me not working but recovering from a former work related trauma while Godfrey was still in the workforce doing new and exciting challenges by developing a National Wool show in Castlemaine. This meant he was not only using contacts all round Australia but was developing strong relationships with our local Council the Shire of Mount Alexander. Brian was meanwhile working as a linesman with parents still alive but with many health problems. Still we found enough in common to socialize at community events and even went on camping weekends together.


Then a drought struck and life at home changed. Things were tight in the wool industry so Godfrey’s work dried up and I couldn’t get work despite having upgraded my teaching qualifications so we decided on a sea change. Not only selling up and moving but changing our roles in life by starting our own business, window cleaning. We were extending the small beach cottage and entertaining family and friends from dry Victoria.

Perhaps the break in this friendship was inevitable. Perhaps we had outgrown our time Jean and I after all the thing we had in common was the study. Perhaps the move interstate was too much. Or did it really go deeper than that. If I am honest didn’t I always think I was the older more mature one and did the men in the friendship really only have the shared beer in common? Whatever the explanation I miss Jean’s company and wonder what has happened to that family with their day to day struggles with five children. No matter what the explanation for our separation it was a fulfilling friendship at the time and one to be remembered as a pleasurable time in our lives.

    'Our Stories'

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We acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which we meet and pay our respects to their elders - past, present and emerging.
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