The first I had no recollection of until my Aunt told me about it a few years ago while we were visiting her husband’s grave in Tumut NSW; it was then I remembered. Our family visited Uncle Alec on the week before he was killed by a falling tree. On leaving I told him: “I love you to the moon and back forever,” Aunt remembers me saying this to him. After his death, my sister recalls Mum saying to her “How did that child know?” I was 5 ½ years old.
The second was in 1988 during minor surgery after a miscarriage. I know that during the surgery I died for a few minutes, as I can recall watching the doctors from above the operating table putting the paddles on my chest to re-start my heart. I watched them doing this, thinking, I like it here, wherever I am. I could see a long tunnel-like area with a very bright white light at the end of it. It looked amazing and safe. But something inside my head said – no – you must go back for your children, who will care for them if you are not there? You must go back, then the white light was gone. Later on when I awoke, my doctor was sitting there holding my hand. He commented “You’re back with us, you know you died in there for a few minutes?” I answered, “Yes I know, you put things on me here and here”, pointing to my chest. His face went white and he simply said: “We’re glad you’re here”. I could never work out how I knew what happened and thought I was going crazy, or it must be the anaesthetic playing tricks with my brain.
The third was when my grandfather passed away in 1991. All day I had trouble concentrating on anything, I felt nauseated for no apparent reason, hot then cold, I kept dropping things, I’d go for a walk in the garden then have to sit down. I tried to eat and it tasted awful. Something just wasn’t right. About 5pm it all stopped, I felt okay again. Later that evening Mum rang, saying “I have some bad news for you”. I answered, “Pop’s dead, isn’t he?” Mum replied, “How do you know, has someone rang you already?”
“No, I just had a feeling something wasn’t right all day”
How did I know? I had no idea what it was, I just knew.
The next time was with my father. I was staying with a girlfriend and went to bed early as I was feeling really exhausted. Tess said I tossed and thrashed about making strange moaning noises until after midnight, when I settled. It was soon after the phone rang, Dad had passed away at the time I had settled, after a long battle with renal cancer.
I can’t explain any of these happenings; or the fact that many times when the phone rings, I know who it is before I answer it, as I was about to call that same person. Many other unexplainable things have happened too. I have learnt not to question any of it, just accept that it is all a part of who I am.