Here in Australia we have a turntable of political events which mark the endings of something. Usually it is the Prime Minister being replaced by another ambitious politician who assumes he can present the Policies much better than the previous boss man. What they don’t realise is that it is their Policies and Attitudes which are so very out of touch with what an educated population want. Sniping and biting each other to get to the prize is not something the general population don’t know about. It happens at all levels of Clubs, Families and Groups. Eventually the sniping and biting has to cease, and two things can happen. Matters are resolved; people decide to just get on with one another and now and again co-operate; or it is a definite separation/ending.
I’ve found endings can be minute or huge. I examined my Life Endings and found so many that I am having trouble finding the source of the true endings.
The end of being a childless person was definitely an ending I did not expect to have such an impact. You know that wonderful cutesie little bub who you carry for nine months and give birth to. Sitting in a chair nursing said child with contentment written all over you. That is what is sold, but the reality is something half-way in between this. The exhaustion of no sleep; the nappies which had to be dried in the Winter; the people who called in just as you got the little screaming bundle to sleep. And the crying; and the joy of the first smile and the development of the beautiful personality. But in between there was the everyday of keeping that little one safe and cared for and loved; And yourself, because one did not exist without the other. But you knew the ending was worth it. Because the event is superb and it is a never ending story.
I, like every parent, signed up for the duration. Eventually they leave home and you can watch with pride and joy and sometimes grief, the adult they have become. And the naïve think this is the ending. But it is not the Ending. They come back; again and again and again because we have created an environment which is full of love and acceptance. And eventually they bring other people with them. And we continue on another life of endings and beginnings.
Career endings. Changing careers through life. How wonderful we can now do this without being stuck in a drudge career which is not suitable. We have the facility to introduce change, itself an ending and, of course, a beginning. I think of my Family careers of long ago - dressmakers; shoemakers’ shopkeepers; racing trainers; publicans - all locked into something they had to do to make a living. They all grew to like what they did because it served a purpose. But they opened up for subsequent generations to be able to choose; to create endings for themselves and beginnings for themselves. When they did, they saw the plate they built their lives upon. Their family who said: Go for it, if that’s what you have to do. Change, but make it good. Build on a secure base. I am with you.
Begin again. Continue with what you are doing, but always be prepared to create an ending that will lead to a wonderful beginning. And sometimes it is not wonderful, but it is what you have to do to allow yourself to develop into you. A person who, every day, experiences endings and beginnings and loves every minute of it.
Helen Duggin
14 November, 2018