Give me another one. A nice one day one. Too late as it splats right into your hand and your heart. Oh dear (F...) what do I do with this. And the answer is “You Live with it. And work towards solving or diminishing it!”
I received a massive curve ball loads of years ago. I had been very fatigued and I was doing battle with my old Dr who patted me on the head and said “You are going through a Divorce. We will get some counselling soon”. As I walked out of his surgery I thought “Hang on I am sick. Not just divorced”. But then Dr knows best.
So I went to a tennis mate of mine who was a Dr and he looked at me and said: “You are really crook!” We will get to the bottom of this thing. I was hot footed to a group called the Shepherd Foundation who did a complete diagnosis. No physical testing just half an hour of questioning and then the diagnosis. This I received via my mate the Dr. who rang me and said “Don't move you could die!” (I was lying on the floor in front of the heater as I was so very cold). You have
low thyroid and you are close to dead. I have booked you into a Specialist this afternoon.
That afternoon I was informed that I would take two years to recover and I had to have a year off work. I had a young son and I was a single Mum. I had just bought a house and had to work.
I took my sick leave which was eighteen weeks. At the beginning I could not see and I had to sleep most of the day. Slowly my eyesight came back to normal and I began to get out of bed more. I began to go to tennis and shopping; just normal living things. But what no one knew was I came home exhausted and went straight to bed. Outwardly normal but covering up a severe illness.
Slowly I improved and my sick leave ran out. I went back to work with six days of leave and a wonderful boss. I was a Visiting Teacher of the Deaf and he told me to come off the road if I was tired. He also gave me permission to just sit in the Office if I needed to. Then he changed my Schools so most of my Schools could be reached easily from Freeways. Thus reducing the stress of driving through traffic. That was September I went back and I survived. The long Holidays arrived and I had six more weeks of holidays to recuperate. So physically the curve ball had lost.
But this next bit was the big one. I was a dancer and a tennis player. I had never been “not able” to operate at a high physical level previous to this curve ball which was permanent physical illness. A debilitating illness which meant I had to monitor my own energy output. Make sure I did not get overtired.
Cutting down on outside work activities was vital. So tennis became once a week. And I avoided late nights as they were exhausting. This went on for two years but it changed me. I had been a head down flat out type of person who could do anything. And all of a sudden I had an autoimmune problem which demanded me modify and watch everything I did. Playing tennis all day and then partying all night was now impossible.
This Curve Ball changed me greatly. “Have to” became impossible. “Need to” became the optimum phrase. And “How best to organise the need to whereby the system did not get overtired”. And so I changed into a person who considered everything in my day and selected the “need to do items” and ignored the spontaneous “lets do that person”. Always monitoring my energy levels.
I have received lots of Curve Balls since this first one. I treat them all the same. Slowly let the healing come; manage the meds and don't be in a rush to do impossible tasks. Avoid stress at all costs.
I saw a wonderful truck yesterday which was being used to travel all over Australia in. One of those medium sized trucks with a canopy and a bullbar. Made for the trip up North; all the way to Darwin. I nearly patted it as it is my dream holiday to do that trip. Camping with my dogs. I walked away from that truck and its owner knowing that the spontaneous lady is not gone. I walked into my home and began to plan that dream trip where I discover the inner Australia and the traditional lands of Australia. So the Curve Balls did not quite squash all desires. Another dream which can be fulfilled. There have been a lot of them too as well as the Curve Balls.
24 May 2021