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'Faking It'

20/6/2016

 
Two nights ago I woke up suddenly from a disturbing dream in which I was haranguing a group of people at a dinner table who had different political values to mine, finishing very assertively with ‘and I cannot tell  you about how angry I am that our government has set up virtual concentration camps on Manus and Nauru, camps in which people have little hope for the future and appear to have no end in sight’!!!...
​
In reality, I find it difficult to speak so assertively in discussing such matters with people with different political values.   I tend to fake it when people who espouse political values different to mine harangue me –a tendency more obvious to me at the moment with elections only two weeks away.  I don’t fake it in the sense of actively agreeing with everything said; but my body language is equivocal – I could be agreeing, but I could be disagreeing, at least I hope so.   Like a skilled television journalist, I could probably be observed using a lot of ‘nodding’ and ‘mmm’s….’

One answer to my difficulty probably lies in ‘child and adolescent development’ theory.  I had few if any reference points or role models for undertaking  constructive political dialogues with dissimilar others during my childhood.  The adults in the households which influenced me most in childhood and adolescence never spoke to me, or with others I observed them interacting with, in a particularly active, politically laden way.  They appeared to read no serious newspapers on political matters, had no books on the bookshelves with political biographies.  Only books about the war at least touched on political issues.  

Perhaps there were politically loaded conversations I didn’t tune in to –I certainly can’t remember any.  I couldn’t tell you how my maternal grandparents voted; remember only a vague, ‘hushed’ reference to the fact that my deceased paternal grandparents may have voted Labour.   I couldn’t tell you how my father (who died when I was 15) voted; and my mother and her sister didn’t speak about their political beliefs.  My uncle in Molyullah, a farmer who typically voted Country Party, was probably the only relative who spoke much about politics and this was during my adult life. 

Perhaps it’s because my family and extended family and friends paid great heed to, and I became enculturated in, the ‘art of polite conversation’, avoiding reference to ‘Sex, politics and religion’.  Shame and guilt still remain when I venture into such values fraught territory!

Perhaps political discussion had waned and there was benign acceptance of the values and policies of the status quo during the long reign of the Menzies Government during my childhood and early adolescence, or at least in my parent’s circle of family and friends.

Emerging from the Menzies era, as a student, I ‘sat in’ at the Monash University Library during funding cuts and a few years later became an active teacher unionist keen to improve the appalling teaching conditions of my first year of teaching.   I began to suspect I wasn’t perhaps conforming to family values! 

Another answer probably lies in my enculturation as a teacher.  Just as doctors are taught and expected to maintain confidentiality, teachers are taught to present ideas from all sides of the spectrum.  My studies in politics and economics have, I believe, given me an understanding of differing ideologies and their strengths and weaknesses as they pertain to economics.  As an economics teacher, and in conversation, this has enabled me to retain a degree of neutrality in presenting these ideas, to understand the differences that beliefs about ‘trickling down’ vs the need for areas of market intervention mean in terms of people’s positions on policy matters; to not eschew particular ideologies in class and to always present a range of ideological economic positions for my students to consider. 

So, given that it’s election time, if I do have political ideas which are different from yours I probably won’t let you know it—both because I never gained confidence and skills in doing so under pressure; also because I’ve virtually been trained not to.

If you assertively harangue me about political ideas which are dissimilar to mine, be aware that I’m enculturated, very skilled in, and very likely to be ‘faking it’ in terms of any perception you may have about my agreeing with you in any depth at all!

I guess what is frustrating is, just like the people in my dream, you are also likely to be enculturated and skilled in faking it about your values and beliefs and have also mastered the art of polite conversation, when I finally get up the courage to talk to you about mine!
 

​Bev Lee
20 June 2016

'Shaped by Childhood'

1/6/2016

 
So many aspects of our childhood shape us.  I’ve steered away from writing about anything particularly ‘deep and meaningful’, instead reflecting on the way in which taking ballet classes may have shaped me, only to find this was actually quite deep and meaningful in its own way! 
  
I took ballet classes in one form or another from 6 to 22 years of age.  My parents could really only afford for us to have one dedicated hobby as children – mine was a focused attention on ballet with a taste of netball.  We didn’t have a car; neither mum nor dad drove; so activities had to be within walking or cycling distance.

Some of the outcomes of taking ballet classes which shaped me were unexpected.   Going to ballet led to me learning something about Masonic Lodges at a very young age!  The ballet classes I attended were held in the ‘Order of the Buffalo Masonic Lodge’ at the Buff’s Hall in Clayton.  I remember dancing with buffalo heads and masonic memorabilia looking down at me from the walls as I worked through ballet exams from preliminary to Grade 5.

How often do we hear about the value of being part of team.  At ballet I learnt a lot about ‘team work’. I remember working incredibly hard with my dancing friends in Swan Lake’s ‘Four Cygnets’, to synchronize our movements which had to be exact.
 
Through ballet I learnt a smattering of French - ‘devlope’; ‘coupe chassis’; 'grande battement', ‘port de bras’ and more!   I learnt about the major ballets and to love classical music.  Because each exam had a folk dance element , I learnt dances such as the Tarantella; even some flamenco dancing and had exposure to castanets.  When I lived in Spain, I haunted Spanish flamenco bars!  Another element involved learning minuets and other English court dances which I later enjoyed watching in historical dramas such as Henry VIII and Pride and Prejudice.

There was exposure to the theatre industry - costume and costume design, including practice in helping my mother sew sequins on tutus and other costumes.  Lighting, stage management, make-up and front of house were involved.  I also enjoyed working with younger children and choreographing ballet with my friends  to beautiful music including Limelight and Ravel’s Bolero
.
Through ballet I learnt about examination pressure at an early age !  While we didn’t have ‘exams’ in primary school, at ballet we had exams which involved dancing in front of a trio of Royal Academy accredited examiners and answering oral questionning.  The exams involved getting feedback; being graded from pass to honourable mention to honours; being awarded medals and even failing and repeating.  I can remember the fear and anxiety involved before entering the examiners room, and the feeling of relief that it was all over.  Whatever I think about exams – and I’m so glad we don’t have exams or marking in U3A – surviving ballet exams did increase my resilience when facing exams at school and university.
 
And I can remember other aspects of succeeding and failing – realizing that I would not get the part I’d longed for in the concert as I wasn’t really the best dancer in the class. 

In later adolescence I began to work towards the ‘Elementary’ RAD exam. Sadly I wasn’t suited physically to continue classical dance training; with overdeveloped arches and well developed breasts making it difficult to do ‘point work’, or dance on my toes.   So I guess another area of being shaped by childhood ballet classes was learning to cope when I effectively was forced to retire from something which I really enjoyed doing.  Perhaps the realization of changes caused by physical changes helped me to accept retirement in other capacities throughout my life – even now?  Food for thought.
 
My love of dance also taught me that there are benefits in seeking out alternatives.  At Monash University I joined the Modern Dance club which involved learning Martha Graham’s dance movements which were very expressive and did not involve dancing ‘on my  toes’ – dancing in bare feet was a welcome thrill.  We danced in an innovative ballet ‘Once’, choreographed by Jack Manuel,  a work choreographed for contemporary music in which various sized metal pipes were 'played' while an opera singer sang an improvised, non language based, aria in the background.  Not long after  the Light Opera club needed dancers for their performance of ‘Kiss me Kate’, a musical based on Shakespeare’s ‘The Taming of the Shrew’.  I found myself dancing on stage to Cole Porter’s ‘Another opening, another show', with its final line, ‘Let’s go on with the show’. 

My choice of career as a high school teacher seemed to some quite odd as I was a relatively reserved child.  However my ballet training had given me the capacity to ‘take a leap of faith’ that I could manage and a capacity to ‘go on with the show’, whatever happened!  It also taught me to learn and remember routines – and that following a routine would lead to a result.  

An added bonus - in my first year of teaching at Heywood High School in the Western District, I was asked to choreograph the school’s production of Gilbert and Sullivan’s ‘Patience’. 

So a love of classical music, contemporary music; the music of Cole Porter and Gilbert and Sullivan; came into my life because I had once attended ballet classes!

Over time I stopped dancing – though I always loved dancing at parties with lovers and good friends. I wish I’d kept dancing – now my knees make this virtually impossible.  I envy other U3A members who are still able to follow their passion for dance in various ways.  Even line dancing would be a challenge for me.

Now in my third age, I sometimes wonder whether the physical challenges of some exercises and choreography may have affected my knees.  When I go to the podiatrist I certainly know that dancing on point affected my toes! 

In the early months of belonging to U3A I found myself in the Music Appreciation class at U3A.  Attending W4 on the wrong day, the group invited me to stay.  I’m still attending.  It’s all because of attending ballet classes.   I find myself recognising the music even though I can’t always name it, and find myself imagining the type of choreography which would suit the music.
​ 
And, just as when I danced,  when I listen to music in Music Appreciation, I find myself losing myself in the moment.  Something which  was wonderful to experience when attending ballet classes, and is wonderful to experience now—in this very room!
    'Our Stories'
    Picture

    Bev's stories

    As I look through the stories I've written since setting up the memoir writing group some years ago, it seems quite a number of  my stories reflect on my experience of aging! 

    Stories

    All
    2020'
    A Bed Time Story - 'The Little Wallaby'
    'A Childhood Memory'
    'Advice'
    A Friendship Tested
    Alexander Theatre
    'A Love Letter To Travel'
    'A Test Of Courage'
    'Aunts And Uncles'
    'Car Stories'
    'Car Story
    'Causes'
    Claire Bowditch
    'Cockles And Mussels'
    'Community'
    "Cringe"
    'Dear Unfinished Business'
    'Deja Vu'
    'Election Day 2022'
    'Experiencing The Unexplained'
    'Faking It'
    Family Ritual
    'Family Treasures'
    'Fear Of Failure
    'Fiesta Of Festivities'
    'Fish Out Of Water'
    'For Better For Worse'
    Gliding
    Grandparents
    'How I Came Here'
    'I Broke It'
    'If Only!'
    'I Grew Up In...'
    'I Quit'
    'I Was There'
    Jack Manuel
    'Lost And Found'
    Lost In Music
    'Making Waves'
    'Memoir Review'
    Molyullah Sports
    'Monash Modern Dance Group
    Monash University
    'New In Town'
    'Once'
    'On The Job'
    'Paulie Stewart'
    'Peter And The Wolf'
    'Precious Objects'
    'Rebellion'
    'Right Here
    Right Now'
    'Rise And Shine - Waking Up To Milk Arrowroot Biscuits)
    'Running With Scissors'
    'Shaped By Childhood'
    'Stock And Land'
    'The Music Of My Madrid'
    'The Separator Room'
    'The Sky's The Limit'
    TheSydney Tunnels
    'Things I've Left Behind'
    'This (...) Life'
    'This (Time Travelling) Life'
    'Three Wise Monkeys'
    Time
    'Too Hard Basket'
    'Travel Tales'
    'Trees'
    'Trigger'
    'What Happens In Vegas'
    'What I Was Wearing'

    Twitter ....

    @Lee_Bev

    Links

    Coping with Criticism (ie editing!)

    Hannie Rayson memoir interview video link

    The subconscious mind and the creative writing process

    Writing Historical Fiction

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    Attribution:

    Image--copyright Mary Leunig; owned by Beverley Lee; permission to use Mary Leunig.
We acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which we meet and pay our respects to their elders - past, present and emerging.
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