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'My Confession'

18/7/2023

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​The decision was made!

We will have children!

It had taken quite some time for us to both agree.  But in our mid-thirties, the time was right.

Six weeks later, the doctor was giving us the good news that we were to be parents in November.

Preparations began immediately.

Shopping to be done and readying a room for the baby.  Telling our surprised parents who had long given up on the prospect of us producing grandchildren.  Breaking the news to our beloved fifteen year old can that he would no longer be an only "child".

I went shopping for baby paraphernalia and clothes.  Baby girl clothes specifically.  They were so adorable and I could only see pink in every store I visited.  At my mother's insistence, I chose a couple of baby boy outfits, but it was those gorgeous, frilly, fluffy, girly ones that I couldn't resist.

The wardrobe in the baby's room was soon crammed full of a glorious array of delightful little girls dresses from birth size to age five!

At work, my surprised staff, who never expected me to be in an expectant state, asked if I preferred white or lemon baby items.  "Neither, thank you.  I prefer pink!"  They gave me a gorgeous pink and white cot set with teddy bears on it.

My husband painted the baby's room a candy pink colour, with a wallpaper frieze of teddy bears and dolls across each wall.  The 'family' cot was retrieved and refreshed with a can of pale pink paint.  A rocking chair with pink cusions completed the room, a vision of rosy hues.

The next big consideration was baby names.  As my husband is from Switzerland, we agreed that it was important to choose names that both sets of grandparents would be familiar with.  (I know my parents would not have been keen on Gertrud for their granddaughter or a little Gottfried grandson.)  We decided on Roseanne.  Toby would be our future possible boy.

Due to my advanced age, I needed to be attended by a specialist.  I was most adamant that the Obstetrican was a female who had her own children.  Dr Christine Tippett was wonderful, very supportive, capable and caring, and a mother of six children.  Perfect.  Most comforting for a first time 'elderly primagravida', Mum-to-be.  She even enquired about the names we had chosen.

Finally, the exciting, life changing day arrived.  Our little girl would soon be here.

I experienced an eight hour labour, during which I inhaled a copious amount of pain relieving gas.  This must have affected my cognitive abilities as I recall I sang the Methodist Church Doxology, on repeat and repeat, for several hours.  The poor medical staff suffered along with me.

Eventually, Dr Tippett held aloft a healthy 8 1/2 lb baby and announced, "It's a Toby!"

And following this is the moment which I am confessing today.

I sank back on the pillows in my befuddled state, closed my eyes and groaned,

"All that for a bloody boy!"

Then I felt something on my face, tears from my husband's eyes above me as he joyously exclaimed "Yes, but he is a bloody beautiful boy!"

Before I could react, the doctor placed the baby onto my chest.

Sudenly, it was as if the room was exploding with fireworks as I held this magnificent miracle of our baby in my arms.  The most perfect, wonderful, spectacular baby ever born.  My beautiful son, Toby.

From that moment, I was the proudest, happiest mother in the world.

We had created this wondrous little boy, who has so much love and so many adventures awaiting him.

Our love for him was instant and all enveloping.  I had the most wonderful baby in all the world.

A week later, we were driving away from the hospital towards our home and the perfectly pink bedroom awaiting Toby.  My husband casually commented, "So, I suppose you want to go shopping for more baby clothes now!"


Jill Gaumann
July 2023
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'True Confessions'

17/7/2023

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​My best kept secret has finally come to light in conversations with friends and family…

In 1993 I was in serious debt, having taken out loans that weren’t good and not managing money well due to easy credit from the banks and bad money management from my side.
Early days with money...

I earned enough money every year to keep me covered for each year at university. Some years I had to earn extra to cover my “extravagant lifestyle of drinking and smoking”.

If I ever borrowed money to buy a car it was paid out quite quickly and owned.

However, in later years around the late 80s and early 90s I discovered the magic Credit Card which the banks gave me with no application. So, I quickly used this wonderful device and extended the credit, buying cheap cars (mainly Citroens) and putting them on the road for our use.

I was working in the IT industry and some clients used credit and bank loans to purchase computer systems that I had sold them. One client suggested to me that I could finance my own system by borrowing excess money (more than the value of the system) to finance our new Apple Computer System for home use. I borrowed $40,000 for a $10,000 value system and could use the balance to pay off credit cards and only have one debt.

The only problem with this was that the repayments were quite large and a significant part of my monthly wage including commission.

So, moving forward, the repayments were quite an impact on our money as well as paying 19% on our home loan!!!

When I was late in payments, I received quite aggressive calls from the bank (Name withheld) every few days, very stressful.
​
One day after many weeks of stress I heard on the radio that there was an option to solve loan stress, please call this number…

So, I called the number and they said that I could become a Part X bankrupt which was the lesser of the bankruptcy evils. I decided that the stress would go away, and they would handle the aggressive lender!!

We went down the Part X track and agreed to pay back 10% of our debt.

Moving forward we sold our home in Seville, moved into a rental in Mount Waverley for our kid’s education and paid off all our debts!!

During that time, I had also purchased an investment unit for rental and to maintain our place in the housing market. Eventually had to sell this too and unfortunately had an outstanding debt to the lender. I agreed to repay this and did. However, during this time, the lender posted a bad credit notation on my credit record. Had to negotiate the removal of that as well, learning slowly here!!!!

Eventually, seven years later we started to look at buying a house again when we were out of the bankruptcy, and this was no longer on our credit record. Our neighbour, who we had helped after her husband had died unexpectedly, by having her over to dinner every Friday night and providing ongoing support, asked my wife why we didn’t have a home of our own. My wife said that we didn’t have a deposit. So, our neighbour said, “I will lend you the money”.

Many years later, after funding home loans and becoming a financial planner, I finally understood “MONEY”.

Bankruptcy was my best kept secret for many years and now I am comfortable talking about it.  It’s very embarrassing, and put my family at great risk financially….

James Davey
July 2023
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'.... a king sized inferiority complex', by Ray O'Shannessy

11/7/2023

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"OH! .... and this is Ray!! .... Katey's youngest."

In his younger days Ray suffered a king-sized inferiority complex.

When he was 4 years old he lost his mother (Kate) to cancer.  His father, Jack, being an alcoholic, was not able to provide for his family of six children.  Consequently, his family was split, leaving Ray and his brother Basil, (2 years older) with Jack's sister, Mary, and her husband Ned Caine.  The Caines were to become Ray's guardians.  These youngsters lived with their guardians for some 2 or 3 months before being transferred to Villa Maria in Ballarat East. 

​Villa Maria was a boys boarding schol/come 'home' run by the Catholic Sisters of Mercy.  Another of Jack's sisters, Elizabeth, was one of the hierarchy, Mother Augustine.  Lodgers at Villa comprised a mixture of the primary school student sons of professionals, hoteliers, farmers and some few others, and Basil and Ray.  The nuns, generally, were very caring but were occasionally overbearing, overdisciplinary and sometimes, to Ray's mind, outright cruel.  Ray, in later life, has been somewhat critical of them, and in fact, refers to Villa as being "institutional".  He spent just under 8 years there until he obtained his Merit Certificate. He had lived in the shadow of his brother, and his inferiority complex had an early beginning.

Ray had guaranteed accommodation and secondary education at St Patrick's College, also in Ballarat, by virtue of the fact that he had won a Government Scholarship.  He was a good scholar, regularly in the top 4 or 5 of the class of about 50 students until, in an external examination, where, due to nerves and his feelings of inferiority, he failed.  And so he did not matriculate.  A further blow!

While in his second year at St. Pats, Ray's brothers and sisters organised a family re-union to be held at brother John's residence in Praharan.  However, his attendance was in jeopardy, as his guardians decreed that "Ray is not to leave Ballarat."   His siblings, most of them now being adult,(in fact Pat had spent 5 years overseas as a serviceman in World War 2), defied this decree and Ray participated.  Unfortunately, there were never any further reunions and Ray became a virtual stranger to his family.  In his 20's though, he spent two wonderful years living with his brother John.

During the course of his education, Ray spent his school holidays at Caine's property at Swanwater, some 20 odd miles from St.Arnaud.  Weekly, there was a shopping visit to the town, and Ray would walk the street with Uncle Ned, who he loved.  Ned would, however, on meeting acquaintances, always refer to him as ".....Shaver....young Ray ..... Jack O'Shannessy's lad".  As Jack O'Shannessy was well known as a 'town drunk', this was embarrassing and did nothing for Ray's self regard.

In January, 1949, Uncle Ned died of cancer and subsequently Ray spent holidays with other relatives.  He spent his last school holidays with Uncle Tom (Toby) O'Shannessy who was responsible for getting him a job with the Victorian Producers in Benalla.  VPC was a Stock and Station and Woolbroking Agency.  Ray settled in to the new environment very well but was always self conscious.  He always addressed his seniors as "Mister".  He was too shy to call people by their Christian name as was customary in farming circles.

Ray resigned from the VPC after some 17 years, and as a 'mature aged student', while working in an accountancy practice, he qualified as a Chartered Accountant and subsequently become a partner.

Ray has now almost overcome his inferiority complex, having been awarded an Order of Australia Medal "for Service to the Community of Benalla" and an accounting fellowship.

What a turn around ........ and a "TRUE CONFESSION".


Ray O'Shannessy
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    'True Confessions' 

     “The theme is True Confessions, and what happened when the truth was revealed.”

    "Tell us about a time when you fessed up to someone, or someone fessed up to you...or when you heard the truth from someone who'd been keeping it to themselves... What happened when the truth was revealed? It can be funny or sad or quirky or powerful, it just needs to be true, and it needs to be your story to tell.  You can of course change names to protect people."… “It could be with yourself, or within your family, but please change names if you need to.”
    ​(ABC Life Matters '500 Words' 2021)

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