It was in June 1968 that I came to Benalla as a recently graduated civil engineer in my fledging career with the Country Roads Board (CRB).  I was replacing another young engineer who, along with two other Melbourne based CRB engineers, was tragically killed whilst inspecting the Hume Highway near Barnawartha in February 1968.

As I was to be married a couple of months later, I was allowed to take up residence in a modest house in Maud Street, one of fourteen houses the CRB owned within the town. These houses were provided for engineers, surveyors and skilled tradesmen who were often transitory in their CRB employment, particularly the younger engineers who would move, seeking promotion, to another country division or back to Head Office at Kew.  Acceptance of renting these CRB houses was subject to a very strange condition in that you were forbidden to have greyhounds, ferrets or pigeons—no mention of dingoes or eagles.  
 
Many engineers would journey through their career and life moving from one CRB house to another. However, like some other engineers, I felt it would be beneficial to board the home ownership merry-go-round somewhere not too far along the career path.

So, in late 1971 my wife and I, with our 15-month-old son, inspected building blocks in a recently developed housing estate on the former property of Lady Knox near Ferntree Gully. This estate was in the developing outer eastern suburbs of Melbourne, not that far from where my wife and I had spent our childhoods.  Its attractive treed allotments within a well- designed streetscape environment appealed to us as our future family home after my transfer back to Head Office. The purchase price of $4,500 per block we considered reasonable, so we decided to purchase two adjacent blocks - pay for one and pay the second block off.

Then, in late 1973, we received an offer from an estate agent for us to sell the blocks for $6000 each. We had received other lesser offers over the past 6 months as popularity grew for available blocks within this estate. However, this latest offer gained our attention as our original plans to migrate back to Melbourne had come under review.  Another son was now part of our family, and we were settling into country life in Benalla.  I had also just qualified as a Municipal Engineer which provided me with prospects of alternate employment as a Shire or City Engineer.

We accepted the agent’s offer in December 1973. Then three months later, only just three months—thanks to the inflationary policies of the Whitlam Government—those very same blocks were on sale for $ 12,000 each!                                                                                                           

If only I`d (we) had waited for another 3 months.   If only ---


Gary Edwards  
 
PS - We purchased our first Benalla home at auction in January 1974. The mortgage would have been $12,000 less ...  If only I’d (we)---
​

On the last day of winter, being in lockdown, I had settled in to watch the Paralympics on T.V.  Being a lovely day, Bernadette was doing outside chores in the sunshine.

Next thing I knew, she entered the lounge room, trembling and in a state of frenzy.  "Didn't you hear me?  Didn't you hear me?".  I blissfully hadn't heard a thing but the television.  After some time she calmed down and told me the story.  It goes like this:- In the back yard she had discovered a plover chick, stranded.  She tried to console it and was attached, not once, but many times, but the mother plover which was diving viciously at her.  Somehow she escaped and came inside.

After hearing the story, we both went out to the laundry back window and gazed out into the yard.

We saw the chick, not moving, just lying on the lawn in the sun.  There was the occasional magpie flying over the yard, and then, out of nowhere, a squawking plover descended and hurriedly ran to the chick, nextling it lovingly, still squawking.  Enchanted, we stood there for some time by the window, wondering what what would happen next.  Eventually, another squawking plover flew over the yard, came back and landed, out of vision of the mother, and tentatively strutted sround.  Both birds were making a lot of noise but no progress in getting together.

Then from the T.V. in the lounge room came the sound of a band playing the Australian national anthem.  Another Australian Gold Medal!

Distracted, we left the window and went to see who had won the medal.  After listening to the anthem and the subsequent interview with the victor, we returned to our viewing position.

Nothing to be seen!  Both plovers and the chick were gone!  How did this happen?  However had the adult birds managed to move their chick?  We will never know!

IF ONLY WE HADN'T BEEN DISTRACTED!!

Since that day I have constantly wondered!  I am intrigued by nature, by the bird world, by the animal world, by humanity, by the universe!  I feel assured of a deity!  Indeed, I have experienced an epiphany!


Ray O'Shannessy
8th September 2021

​I was 5 years old when my parents took a break from their marriage. My family had migrated from New Zealand to Canada some 18 months before, where my dad had settled well. My mother had not, and she returned to New Zealand with my older sister, younger brother and me. On our return, she took a nursing position and moved into the nurse’s accommodation. My sister moved in with our paternal grandparents in a small coastal town some 100 miles away. My younger brother, still a toddler, went to live with my maternal grandparents, also some 100miles away but in a farming district. They sent me to live with my aunt and uncle.

​It was the best thing to happen in my brief life.

My uncle and aunt lived in suburban Auckland with their three sons. I was about a year younger than the youngest cousin. Reflecting now, I’m not sure that my cousins viewed my arrival as the wonderful event that I experienced. Surely I unbalanced their happy home? To me, though, it was bliss. My aunt enrolled me in the local primary school, which I attended with my cousins. I adored her. She cheerfully assisted at the school. I especially recall days when she would attend to make lunches that the pupils could buy. They were a simpler time, with Vegemite and potato chip sandwiches and little boxes of sultanas. School lunch day was a treat anyway, but observing my aunt mixing with the other mothers made me feel irrationally content. At home, she would sew, knit and cook. She would make me dresses and we would venture out to purchase the fabric and trim, often making a similar dress for my dolls. My cousins and I would play outside. Their large backyard was a paradise for small children. The boys were partial to games of cowboys and Indians. To this day my eldest cousin and I think of each other as brother
and sister.

They are memories of apple pies and laughter, sunshine and love.

My father returned to New Zealand and reunited our family. My mother and her sister
were not close, and we rarely visited the family that I loved. I experienced a profound
sadness that never left me, wondering how my life would have been different if I’d been
able to remain with them.

I renewed my relationship with my aunt and her family when I dated my husband and we
discovered he knew their family well. As a couple, we relished the opportunity to spend
time with them. My aunt embroidered and sewed a beautiful layette for my daughter when
she was born.

Many years later, she was diagnosed with leukaemia. Knowing her time was limited, we
scraped together the airfare so I could return to visit with her. The time we spent helped
me to understand the family dilemma surrounding the situation with our family. While my
head understood this decision, my heart always wonders what my life would have been if
only I’d stayed with them.


Michelle Aitken,
September 2021

‘If only I …had not joined U3A’, I would not be struggling to write a 500-word essay on the night before such work is due. I must admit that the fault is mine as I am inclined to procrastinate and need a looming deadline to motivate me.  Unfortunately, I have found this procrastination has even affected my sleep, as I toss and turn whilst trying to compose my required essay. However, at this stage of my life, time is a precious commodity.  There are a multitude of things I could do that would be of more interest to me!  As my husband pointed out I could spend the time reading the mountain of books I have piled up on my bedside table.
 
I joined U3A in 2020 as I hoped it would motivate me to continue my Family History Research which had been pushed to one side by life's other commitments.  The push to join Memoir Writing was the hope I could one day tell my father’s story.  My other enrolments were in Sustainability and German for Beginners. I have continued with the first three, but German came to an end halfway through last year as I found I was spending eight to ten hours a week doing homework. I opted instead to join Duolingo and have continued using that as my language option until now.
 
The fact that COVID 19 has been a feature of both years has not been helpful as Lock downs have featured on and off.  Normal life has been impacted which does affect one's outlook and thus the ability to concentrate for any length of time. In short, there has been plenty of time to spend researching Family History, but the motivation and concentration have been lacking. The more physical chores are easier to manage than mental ones. Today for instance, instead of sitting down and writing, I spent eight hours in the garden. I did feel the satisfaction of a job well done but was still tossing up my choice of essay topic.
 
The fact that I am continuing with my classes means that I do not regret this decision overall, even though it does sometimes make me think “If only I hadn't”.
 
 
Marg McCrohan
26 September 2021

Joy has 'tweaked' her earlier 'If only...' story for this month's session ...
​
So many of the “If only” times in our lives can have such positive results.  For me, I think that focussing on “If only” can be irrelevant to our lives, and in some situations resulting in just making us unhappy or depressed.  In thinking about this topic, I can only be grateful for the decisions we have made and the results that we have lived, rather than things we have missed out on in our lives.

The majority of the significant “If only” occasions that really have made a significant improvement in my life are positives.  So I have listed some of these positive “if only” occasions in our lives. 

“If only” I had stayed close to the office when travelling to Melbourne on business, instead of travelling across town to stay with my mother, I WOULD NOT have spent the last night and morning of her life with her.

“If only” we had not left Canberra to move to Benalla, I MIGHT not have joined U3A and met so many new friends.  I miss some of my Canberra friends but we can still catch up with those in Canberra when travel permits, and new friends have enriched our lives as.

“If only” we had bought one of the other houses we looked at in Benalla, I MAY not have had such great neighbours.  Of course I MAY have met just as many different great neighbours.

“If only” we had not supported our daughter in her move to Perth to train at the Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts at 16 years old, there may have been several consequences.  She MAY have resented our decision, causing lots of tension.  But she WOULD NOT have ended in a difficult relationship which fortunately did not last.  And through several of her own “if only” decisions she would not have her current career and happy family situation.

“If only” my husband had not seen the career page in the local newspaper, our son MAY have not trained as an officer in the Merchant Navy ending up working in a job he loves, and which has given him a very comfortable lifestyle.  Of course he may have lived closer to us, but his own life could not have been as enriched.


Joy Shirley
September 2021

These words rang in my ears many times during my childhood. As we grow, adults tend to give you the minimum of information by saying ‘don’t do that’, or ‘don’t go in there’. But you ask yourself, “why??” Is there something in there that may harm me, “what is it??” and yes, in the absence of any further information, you invariably ignored the basic warnings and went about seeking confirmation as to why you had been given the instruction.

There were a number of these warnings given to me over the years, but I still sought out the confirmation. One specific incident occurred as we were about to go out. The plan was to move the calf that we were rearing, from the milking shed and tether it out in the paddock so its mother could feed it that night, as we would not be home to milk her. I was told to wait until my father came to assist, as the calf was now rather large and very strong. I duly ignored the instruction and went to the milking shed to move the calf on my own. Well, I untied the calf and was walking out through the yard, which was very muddy at the time, when the calf bolted. I did not let go of the rope and was dragged through the mud and manure for some considerable distance, until the calf stopped at its mother to drink. I was covered in mud and manure from head to toe. My father arrived and secured the calf to the post it was to be tied to. All my mother and father could do was laugh at the sight of me soaked, and in need of an urgent bath and a fresh set of clothes to go out.

History is a marvellous thing, we cannot change it, we can only learn from it. Ignoring instructions does become part of your adolescent leaning process; fortunately my learning process did not result in any serious ongoing injuries.

​
Barry O’Connor.
September 2021.
​