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A Memoir - 'The Tattooist of Auschwitz' by Heather Morris

22/5/2022

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Over the Christmas of 2021, I read The Tattooist of Auschwitz, a memoir penned by New Zealand author, Heather Morris. Heather, now a resident of Australia was introduced to an elderly gentleman, Lale Sokolov in 2003 after being told that he “might just have a story worth telling”. It was a meeting that proved life-changing for both Heather and her subject Lale. The Tattooist of Auschwitz traces the incredible story of survival which challenges the reader to ask, what length’s would you go to to survive?

Originally, Lales's story was told as a screenplay which was lauded at several international competitions. Heather then reshaped the story into her debut novel. In documenting Lale’s story Heather has captured the internal battle of a man who sees his survival in the Nazi death camps as an ultimate triumph over Hitler's evil mission to eliminate the Jews and other minority groups. Heather’s talent for piecing together Lale’s memories of his time at Auschwitz is extraordinary. The reader can only imagine how fragile the elderly man’s recollection may have been. Heather proved to be an excellent listener, clearly winning Lale’s trust as he shares his intimate thoughts with the reader.

Elements of Lale’s story resonated strongly with me. My mother-in-law was a Polish War Orphan. Hania (Anna) never really told her story to her family, I imagine this was because the story she lived was painful. I met Hania (Anna) after I had met and fallen in love with her eldest child, James. We didn’t meet each other until our engagement was announced, and she was saddened to lose her eldest son to another woman. We never became friends. She was a difficult woman to get to know, mostly because she suffered from paranoid schizophrenia, and struggled with many aspects of daily life. She was, however, devoted to her three children.

In 2015 I began the process of discovering Hania’s story so that I could facilitate my husband and older children applying for their Polish Citizenship. I was not prepared for the story I was about to learn.

In 1939, following German and Soviet attacks on Poland (see Polish September Campaign), the territory of the Second Polish Republic was divided between the two invaders. Eastern Poland was annexed by the Soviet Union, and soon afterwards Moscow began a program of mass deportations. Hundreds of thousands of Polish citizens were forced to leave their homes and were transported to Siberia, Kazakhstan, and other parts of the Soviet Union. There were several waves of deportations during which whole families were sent to different parts of the Soviet Union.

The fate of the deported Poles improved in mid-1942, after the signing of the Sikorski–Mayski agreement. An Amnesty for Polish citizens in the Soviet Union was declared. The Anders' Army was formed. Between March 24 and April 4, 33,069 soldiers left the Soviet Union for Iran, as well as 10,789 civilians, including 3,100 children. Thousands died along the way to Iran mostly due to an epidemic of dysentery, which decimated men, children and women. Hania’s parents were just two of so many that died before the family reached safety. In September 1944, the orphaned children were loaded onto warships and transported to New Zealand, Canada and South Africa. Hania and her sisters and brother were sent to New Zealand.

Along my journey to understand my mother in law, I came into the possession of a copy of a handwritten record of the children’s lives before the war and their subsequent deportation to Serbia, journey to Iran and new life in New Zealand. The story that Hania’s sister tells is of simple people surviving in extraordinary times. It details the evil that can exist when people in power seek to fulfil their diabolical manifesto on the innocent.

Lale’s survival has a familiar story, a noticeable difference being that his captors were German. Like Hania, Lale had no inkling of the fate that awaited him when he was first ordered onto transport that would take him to the death camp. Once there, his existence relied on his capacity to live one day at a time, and his will to survive. Indeed, Lale saw his survival as a sure sign of his captors' defeat. He tells his story without judgement, occasionally hinting at the hatred he felt toward the German guards and camp officials.

Stories like Lale and Hania’s have been told and retold. Each time the horror that mankind can inflict such depravity on each other tests our understanding of the world. How can such evil exist? What causes one man to turn against another with such deadly consequences? How does the human spirit survive?

As I read the book I felt that Lale was willing me to examine my capacity for compassion. He challenged me to judge the actions he took to survive Auschwitz kindly. After all, how would we know what lengths we would go to just to survive?


Michelle Aitken
May 2022
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'Salvation Creek' by Susan Duncan

5/6/2021

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A memoir which meant something to me...

I found myself, after reading Susan Duncan’s memoir, ‘Salvation Creek’, in 2006. 

​It was a time of feeling loss and emptiness in my life – possibly “Empty Nest Syndrome”.  Family had married and moved on.  Mid-life transition.  Romantic fluctuation.  Domestic changes.

Whatever the cause, I sensed a need for change.  I was searching for a new direction.

One day at the library I picked up ‘Salvation Creek’, knowing nothing about it, except the title. 

I think the word ‘Salvation’ was the trigger.  I needed salvation from my life. 

This book had it all for me, beginning with Susan, the author, relating her own loss.  The death of her brother and husband within a few months of each other, how she needed new horizons, how she risked everything to relocate herself, to start over.  Salvation with a challenge.

Sometime after reading her story, I found my own challenges for change and embraced the opportunity to move forward.

I joined new groups to find new interests and new friends.  Garden Club, Probus, U3A, Book Club at the library.

Life became full and busy again – being part of community in retirement, meeting new people, everybody has a story.
​
I found my story had a new beginning.
 
Moira Beckinsdale,
May 2021

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'The Road from Coorain' by Jill Ker Conway

27/4/2021

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​The Road from Coorain by Jill Ker Conway was a memoir I first read about ten years ago. In many ways it has no relevance to my life, however I loved it. This could best be described of a memoir of an Australian childhood.
 
The first part of the book is set in the western plains of New South Wales where Jill spent the first ten years of her life. Her home was Coorain – a local Aboriginal name meaning “Windy”.
Her parents moved there in 1930 after her father William Ker had built a house on a block of 18,000 acres. There was a severe drought and the onset of the Great Depresssion  which made the start of such a venture extremely difficult. By dint of hard work and perseverance the family managed to build a successful sheep property.  Jill was born there just as the family's fortunes improved. She with two older brothers then spent a few idyllic years in this isolated area.
 
In 1940 the elder boy was sent to boarding school in Sydney, 500 miles away. He tried to run away on several occasions so the parents sent the younger brother to the same school the following year.

Jill was now alone with her parents and, as World War 2 had led to a lack of station hands, she became her father's right hand “man”, spending most days riding with him and helping him with all the work required. She vividly describes the vast isolation but beautiful landscape. Her description of the dust storms are so vivid I felt as if I could taste the grit.
 
This early part of her life bears no resemblance to mine but after her father's death and the family moving to Sydney I could relate to many of her experiences. Her description of the school she attended sounded very similar to my experience, particularly when I became a boarder. There we wore hats, gloves and blazers and just reading her description brought back many memories.

Our attendance at University could not be compared as she was responsible for her mother who had become depressed and dependent on her children, particularly after the death of the older brother Robert in a car accident. My life at university was free of responsibility for anyone but myself.

On my first reading of this memoir I was captivated by the resilience and sense of duty displayed by Jill and had very little sympathy for her mother. However on this latest reading, I developed a respect for this woman as it seemed to me she was a victim of her gender. I can remember my own mother saying once how she envied me and my sisters-in-law as we all had our own careers.

How lucky am I that I was born into a family that valued education for all members regardless of gender. Also, although still victims of the gender pay gap, most women have the chance to have a career.


Marg McCrohan
​April 2021
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'your own kind of girl'  -  Claire Bowditch

26/4/2021

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Claire Bowditch - ‘your own kind a of girl – a memoir – The stories we tell ourselves and what happens when we believe them’ Allan and Unwin 2019
 
Melbourne born and raised, Clare Bowditch is a best-selling and Award Winning musician, actor, former ABC broadcaster and teacher. 
 
‘your own kind of girl’ was chosen for me as a Christmas Gift by my sister, Janette.  Perhaps Janette thought ‘the lesson learned that could be shared with others’ common to memoirs would be relevant to me.   I had seen Clare Bowditch on Rockwiz and knew that she was a highly regarded singer song writer, but that was all really.  I always read my Christmas books straight away and found I couldn’t put 'your own kind of girl' down, reading it over two days during the festive season break. 
 
Clare’s memoir focus is reflected in the subtitle ‘The stories we tell ourselves and what happens when we believe them’, however I've expanded it to … ‘The stories we tell ourselves which can lead to anxiety and depression, where they may have come from, what happens when we believe them, and how we can recover from them’.
 
There were many ‘universal themes’ in the memoir, particularly grief (unresolved grief and loss); anxiety and depression; but also love of music; creativity; family connectedness; being perceived as different as a child; finding a soul mate; heart break; and more.
 
“A memoir is about a lesson learned that can be shared with others” … Claire describes the lesson she hopes to share ... 'that no matter how far up the garden path your anxiety has dragged you, recovery is absolutely and completely possible’
 
Claire is trying to reach people who have unresolved ‘underlying’ issues, particularly unresolved grief, which have led to anxiety and depression.  Perhaps she is also targeting family members and friends who are trying to understand and support a person who has anxiety and depression. 
 
On the first page, Claire writes that, at aged 21, she had promised herself ‘I would one day be brave enough, and well enough, and alive enough', to write her story.   Her motivation -  to provide hope and help for other people who have experienced a ‘nervous breakdown’, or as a counsellor encouraged her to reframe it, as a ‘nervous breakthrough’…
 
In terms of angle taken to interest and benefit readers, Claire made effective use of a ‘life stage’ time-line approach, tracking the source of her unresolved grief - the death as a child of her dearest, next in age older sister - through its impact on her during the life stage tasks of childhood, adolescence and adulthood, tasks she tried to negotiate with energy and such determination, but often found difficult to manage emotionally. 
Claire also wove in other difficulties she faced at different stages of life development, being taller, larger than other children her age, which compounded her sensitivities and the telling of her story. 
 
Clair's use of life stage transition sequencing resonated with me, perhaps because as social worker I had learnt, and in practice found, that unresolved issues tended to make life stage transitions more difficult for the people I worked with.  
 
Another element Claire drew upon was to use phrases, or short verses, from her songs to title and preface each chapter, with some of her songs, capturing as they often did a ‘universal truth’ facing her at the time, featuring more fully in a particular chapter. 
 

The ‘life stage’ time-line and Claire's undoubted skills in story telling took me into so many worlds I identified with – the emotional ups and downs of experiencing the world of the Children’s Hospital as a child; of playing netball in later childhood and early adolescence; of falling in love; of travelling overseas in early adulthood, and more. Claire is a wonderful storyteller – from her portrayal of her loved sister Rowena was beautiful and  believable, she developed the characters of her parents so thoughtfully and I came to understand them as people of such wisdom and integrity. Her lovers were also fascinatingly portrayed, as was the dawning realization that the friend she had had for so many years was the person she wanted to be with so beautifully spelled out.  Her capacity to describe settings, social climates, time periods, social norms and expectations infused the memoir with context and meaning.    ‘Plot?’ Her use of a time line trajectory in which the unresolved issues emerged, played out, were resolved to enable her to move on with her life’s journey, worked very well.   Literary elements – that’s for another day!
 
Claire described waiting twenty years after her breakdown before she felt ready to write the book, ‘Your Own Kind of Girl’ and in the acknowledgements wrote , ‘My friends warned me that it would be hard, but I found it … quite hard.  At a couple of points, I even wondered whether – twenty years from now - I might have cause to write a second book about the breakdown brought on by writing this book’. 
 
When I finished reading ‘Your Own Kind of Girl’ I felt so glad, indeed privileged, to have read it.  Although my story is not quite the same, or quite as devastating in terms of breakdown, in my early forties I eventually asked for help for anxiety and depression for which it turned out there were underlying issues which had affected my negotiating life stages to a greater or lesser degree.  I would love to have been able to read ‘Your Own Kind of Girl’ as a young woman, to have benefited from reading about her journey, to draw on her encouragement to not be afraid to seek help.  I am so glad it is available for young women to read!
 

Bev Lee
​April 2021
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'A memoir that has meant something to me' - Barry O'Connor

26/4/2021

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In this story, Barry has written about an 'aide-memoir', defined variously as 'a blast from the past'; 'a list used to remind you of sometining'; 'something, usually written, that helps you remember something'; 'an aid to the memory, especially a book or note';  '"a memory-aid; a reminder or memorandum, especially a book or document serving this purpose"

Early in 1998 my eldest daughter and her husband planned a trip to Europe. In preparation for their trip, my daughter did some initial research on the family history. As part of this research she contacted the Wycheproof Historical Society and was put in touch with Allan Milburn, who was not only a member of the society, but also the local newsagent. The result of the research was very informative, however did not have all the information that she was seeking about the O’Connor’s. This would be investigated during the trip. Whilst in Ireland she would visit relatives and friends of her husband’s family. In Ireland she made contact with the genealogical centre in Clare, to learn that my Great Grandfather, James O'Connor, had been born in 1840 in Tiermaclane, County Clare, Ireland.  

I took the information ‘on board’ and the further investigation of the family history was put on the ‘to do’ list, until the Covid restrictions were imposed early in 2020. I did have a lot of information about the family tree which had been completed by the Benalla Family Research Group at the request of my wife, who presented it to me as a surprise in 2015. Whilst there were names on the family tree, there was obviously a background to each individual shown. The search began with the original family tree research as a basis, and then the resources of Ancestry and Trove.  During the journey, additional information came from two cousins who contacted me during my Ancestry research.

My initial contact was with Allan Milburn, whom my daughter had been in contact with some 23 years previously. To my surprise Allan remembered the details of the contact and the letter that he sent in response to a request from my daughter. Allan’s first comment to me was, “You realise Barry that your Great Grandfather was very highly thought of in the Wycheproof area, and was considered one of the founding fathers of the community”. This surprised me a little as the information that I had at the time, did allude to some community involvement, but not to the extent that I would later discover.
​
In March 2020 the research project commenced in earnest and I was to discover that my Great Grandfather was indeed one of the founding fathers of Wycheproof. James was a leader in the building of the first Catholic Church in 1877 and was actively involved in any project involving the advancement of the community.  He built the first commercial building in Wycheproof, a hotel in 1874, he served as a Water Commissioner, a Racing Club official, President of the Agricultural Show Society, and a trustee of the Mechanic’s Institute. James was actively involved in the extension of the railway and on Friday, September 28, 1883, the long awaited "official opening" of the railway took place. In 1890, along with two other councillors, James started a project which saw the Wycheproof Hospital open in 1898. He was a Councillor on the St Arnaud Shire 1885-1894. In May 1893, he commenced work on splitting the huge shire. The Wycheproof Shire was formed from what was the North Riding of the St Arnaud Shire. 
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​James was Shire President at the time of the split and the formation of the new Wycheproof Shire in April 1894. The new shire had an area of 620 square miles and a population of 1850. The shire was subdivided into three ridings.  James served an initial term on the new shire from 1894 to 1898.

Later in my research, I came upon a news article by accident, which revealed that during his time on Council in 1885, James was also involved in the ‘Dog Netting Fence’ project that covered 204 miles from Tyntynder to the South Australian border, to prevent wild dogs and other vermin from entering 1.2 million acres of farmlands to the south.

There is more to the story of James O’Connor which would fill another thirteen pages, however the memoir which prompted the new investigations came from my eldest daughter in March 1998.

Barry O’Connor,
24th April 2021.

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    'A memoir which has meant something to me'

     The brief – ‘Head for your bookshelf, the library or an online book-store to retrieve a memoir which has meant something to you.  When did it enter your life?  How did it then, or does it now, relate to your life story?’   

    Generally speaking this would be a published memoir, however, as Barry O'Connor interpreted it, could also relate to an 'aide memoir'

    **Memoir Review - Framework for Analysis**

    Contributions

    All
    Barry O'Connor
    Beverley Lee
    Marg McCrohan
    Michelle Aitken
    Moira Beckinsdale
    'Salvation Creek'
    'The Road From Coorain'
    'The Tattooist Of Auschwitz'
    'your Own Kind Of Girl'

We acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which we meet and pay our respects to their elders - past, present and emerging.
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