In a way we are always starting over. Most of us are constantly confronted with having to start over. We sometimes start over by moving jobs. Sometimes we start over by moving house. Sometimes we are forced to start over.
This is a report on a woman who had to start over several times. Big time. Maybe it didn't seem like a big time, because she did not make a fuss. But it was. How she did it without showing any adverse reaction I do not know. She did it in each case without complaint or explanation.
In my youth I had an extended family, but I have to admit, I wasn't blessed with popularity. However, I had an Aunt I knew liked me. She said so. She was my father’s Aunt and therefore my great Aunt. The interesting thing was that two brothers had married two sisters, so my father was related to her on both sides. I was her husband’s great nephew. I was also her sister’s grandchild. She effectively took me under her wing. She encouraged me in everything I did, and she encouraged her children to look out for me and help me where they could. Not all of them did, for one reason or another. They were much older, being contemporaries of my father. They had their own busy lives, so were not in constant contact with me.
However, one of her children did help me, the youngest daughter who lived at home with her mother. She was slightly younger than my father, who was her first cousin. Because she was the youngest in the family she was always treated as being the baby. She had an active social life in the town, but she did not marry at the usual age. She had what was considered a responsible job and was well known in the town. All her siblings had moved out of home, but she continued to live at home - presumably to take care of her mother - my Aunt. This was never specified or even spoken about. It was just assumed.
My Aunt directed her daughter to help me whenever she could. I admit that I was lucky she did what her mother asked, but she didn't resent helping me. I enjoyed her help. For instance, her mother directed that she loaned me her car whenever I wanted it. This wasn't too often, but at times I did take advantage. I was barely 18. Not that I advertised the fact, because I knew I was taking advantage. This would not be judged to be socially acceptable by the extended family. We kept it secret from my father for instance. My Aunt did not spread it around either, but she did direct her daughter to loan me her car and whatever else she could do.
This daughter is the person who had to start over. Several times. This became obvious to me after the fact, when many years had passed. Starting over can be a big thing.
The daughter lived at home looking after her mother until her mother became old and frail. This took a long time. My Aunt’s mind remained intact, however she resented the fact that her body gave out. She often begged me to help - sometimes tearfully. We had always been close, and I always kept in contact with her. Once she begged me to take her out of hospital. She offered me money. I felt at that point that I was not a real man. After all she did for me, I should have broken all the rules to help her and caused absolute chaos. But I did nothing. I merely told her daughter what she had asked. Her daughter was always there for her. And her daughter never complained. Well, never to me.
Finally, my Aunt died. The terms of her husband’s will specified that my Aunt could live in the house as long as she was alive, but on her death the house was to be divided among the family. The house was put up for sale even before the funeral. This meant that her daughter had to immediately move out. In effect, the daughter who had looked after her mother was out of house and home. She had to start over.
She did this in a big way. She went away on a cruise of the Pacific Islands. When she came home, she had a breathtaking surprise for everyone. She came home with a friend she had met on the boat. This friend was an older female. She immediately moved in with her new friend. She did this without explanation or comment. This was indeed starting over. It was shocking for most of the family, and some never recovered.
She lived happily with her friend for 10 years, but then tragedy struck. Her friend was struck down with Alzheimer’s. This was quite a rapid and brutal process through which she lost all comprehension. Her face seemed to suddenly melt, and she quickly became almost unrecognisable.
Her friend died, and it was discovered that she had no interest in the property they lived in. Her friend’s family immediately sold the property, and she had to immediately move out.
She had to start over again.
And she did it without complaint. Well not to me.
She started over once again in an Aged Care Facility. This was big time. This time she was left with almost no personal items. For instance, 30000 slides were dispensed with. An extensive record collection disappeared.
Again she endured without complaint. Well, not to me.
Neville Gibb
October 2024
This is a report on a woman who had to start over several times. Big time. Maybe it didn't seem like a big time, because she did not make a fuss. But it was. How she did it without showing any adverse reaction I do not know. She did it in each case without complaint or explanation.
In my youth I had an extended family, but I have to admit, I wasn't blessed with popularity. However, I had an Aunt I knew liked me. She said so. She was my father’s Aunt and therefore my great Aunt. The interesting thing was that two brothers had married two sisters, so my father was related to her on both sides. I was her husband’s great nephew. I was also her sister’s grandchild. She effectively took me under her wing. She encouraged me in everything I did, and she encouraged her children to look out for me and help me where they could. Not all of them did, for one reason or another. They were much older, being contemporaries of my father. They had their own busy lives, so were not in constant contact with me.
However, one of her children did help me, the youngest daughter who lived at home with her mother. She was slightly younger than my father, who was her first cousin. Because she was the youngest in the family she was always treated as being the baby. She had an active social life in the town, but she did not marry at the usual age. She had what was considered a responsible job and was well known in the town. All her siblings had moved out of home, but she continued to live at home - presumably to take care of her mother - my Aunt. This was never specified or even spoken about. It was just assumed.
My Aunt directed her daughter to help me whenever she could. I admit that I was lucky she did what her mother asked, but she didn't resent helping me. I enjoyed her help. For instance, her mother directed that she loaned me her car whenever I wanted it. This wasn't too often, but at times I did take advantage. I was barely 18. Not that I advertised the fact, because I knew I was taking advantage. This would not be judged to be socially acceptable by the extended family. We kept it secret from my father for instance. My Aunt did not spread it around either, but she did direct her daughter to loan me her car and whatever else she could do.
This daughter is the person who had to start over. Several times. This became obvious to me after the fact, when many years had passed. Starting over can be a big thing.
The daughter lived at home looking after her mother until her mother became old and frail. This took a long time. My Aunt’s mind remained intact, however she resented the fact that her body gave out. She often begged me to help - sometimes tearfully. We had always been close, and I always kept in contact with her. Once she begged me to take her out of hospital. She offered me money. I felt at that point that I was not a real man. After all she did for me, I should have broken all the rules to help her and caused absolute chaos. But I did nothing. I merely told her daughter what she had asked. Her daughter was always there for her. And her daughter never complained. Well, never to me.
Finally, my Aunt died. The terms of her husband’s will specified that my Aunt could live in the house as long as she was alive, but on her death the house was to be divided among the family. The house was put up for sale even before the funeral. This meant that her daughter had to immediately move out. In effect, the daughter who had looked after her mother was out of house and home. She had to start over.
She did this in a big way. She went away on a cruise of the Pacific Islands. When she came home, she had a breathtaking surprise for everyone. She came home with a friend she had met on the boat. This friend was an older female. She immediately moved in with her new friend. She did this without explanation or comment. This was indeed starting over. It was shocking for most of the family, and some never recovered.
She lived happily with her friend for 10 years, but then tragedy struck. Her friend was struck down with Alzheimer’s. This was quite a rapid and brutal process through which she lost all comprehension. Her face seemed to suddenly melt, and she quickly became almost unrecognisable.
Her friend died, and it was discovered that she had no interest in the property they lived in. Her friend’s family immediately sold the property, and she had to immediately move out.
She had to start over again.
And she did it without complaint. Well not to me.
She started over once again in an Aged Care Facility. This was big time. This time she was left with almost no personal items. For instance, 30000 slides were dispensed with. An extensive record collection disappeared.
Again she endured without complaint. Well, not to me.
Neville Gibb
October 2024
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