“A memoir captures a meaningful slice of life - a memory, a lesson, or an experience that stands out. In our sessions, members come together to share short, reflective stories (up to 500 words) inspired by a new theme each month. As Time Goes By is not a writing skills class, nor is it about creating a full autobiography. It’s a space for those who want to record the stories that future generations might never think to ask about - a place to remember and share treasured moments in a welcoming, supportive environment with others who are also telling their stories.”
 
Mini-memoirs - Icebreaker - this month a topic preparing for next month's topic
‘Two wrongs don’t make a right…'

It's 80 years since the ending of WWII, and this month five of our past and current members who remember the end of the war are presenting stories under the theme ‘1945’ at Meet and Mingle on April 16th. 

This month’s topic is fairly broad, an encouragement to reflect on the impact of conflict on your life, from the ways in which your parents taught you to handle conflict, to family members or your own involvement in conflict during wars, perhaps your roles in mediating or reducing conflict between your children, workers, perhaps your roles in promoting peace.  You only have 500 words, so start early, as you may need time to edit
 
Writing and sharing memoir

Last month we stressed the importance of incorporating reflection on the impact on you of the experiences you are writing about.  This can be subtle, can be strategically placed, can always be in the conclusion.

Interestingly, the ‘This (…..) Life’ topic,automatically incorporates a reflection, as you need to think about the topic and what is significant about it, eg. Heather’s ‘This (Chaotic) Life’.  

This month, a reminder to keep focussed on the particular slice of life you are writing about.  Usually when you craft your story so that it is within 500 words you don’t stray off onto other themes and lose focus.  However, the more words you write, the more likely this is to happen. 

There's a saying in writing circles 'Kill your darlings'...'A darling' is something which is meaningful to you, enjoyable to write about, but which looked at objectively isn’t a ‘good fit’ in this slice of life.  'Kill it'!  Highlight it, “cut" it, then “paste” it into a document for possible use later!   Your story almost invariably reads well without it.  This is all part of crafting your story.  

Creating a key sentence for your story can be useful in retaining focus... 'This is a story about ..... '.  It’s a tool to refer back to when you find you've strayed delightfully off into a barely related memory.  
 
A look at some other features of 'As Time Goes By' from the Introduction to the Course:  Refer to 'As Time Goes By' Memoir Writing 2025 
 
This Month’s Suggested Stories – Check out the List of Stories for 2025

‘Failure’

‘Write about a failure you’ve experienced – from the commonplace to the catastrophic – in 500 words’. (ABC Open April 2017)  Resource: 'Failure' (ABC Open Planning Sheet)

June                                    
Merv                                   
Ray       
Terry                               

‘Success!’ –

turn the guidelines for approaching the Failure story on their head by writing about a treasured success you’ve experienced – from the commonplace to the (almost…) world shattering, or in your world at least! 

Joan                 Failure and Success …                    


‘Reflecting on Covid on the 5th anniversary’ 

It’s the fifth anniversary of the Co-vid shutdown on 20th March.  A chance to reflect back on your memories and experiences then from the standpoint of time.  A dip into our Newsletter and stories at the time might refresh your memories. 
Anne                                                 
Carmyl                                              
Jan                                                    
Barry   
Neville (to read next time)                                               
 
‘Sisters’…

It’s International Women’s Month in March, a time to focus on women’s lives and stories.  Memoirs have been written about ‘Sisters’…for example, by Drusilla Modjeska. Write about some sisters in your family, whether your own, a parent’s, your children, your grandchildren, in a way which uncovers the strengths, the challenges, the joys of ‘sisterhood’…or perhaps a sister’s strength, creativity, perseverance, contributions. 

Heather Hartland                           
Delfina Manor                                
Anne Stewart                                 
Kathy Beattie Transitions             
Bev Lee
John Holschier              


Catch up stories

Kathy Beattie ‘This (Never a Dull Moment) or (Lucky Break) Life’  
Max Tilbury    ‘Steep Learning Curve’ 

Next Month's Topics -   April 21  'Events/Conflict'  ... 'War and Peace'

Suggested for continuing class members:

‘Two wrongs don’t make a right… It's 80 years since the ending of WWII, and this month five of our past and current members who remember the end of the war are presenting stories under the theme ‘1945’ at Meet and Mingle on April 16th. 

This month’s topic, 'Two Wrongs don't make a Right' is fairly broad, an encouragement to reflect on the impact of conflict on your life, from the ways in which your parents taught you to handle conflict, to family members or your own involvement in conflict during wars, perhaps your roles in mediating or reducing conflict between your children or workers, perhaps your roles in promoting peace.  You only have 500 words, so start early, as you may need time to edit!

Suggested for new/newer class members:

‘Anzac Day’/Easter/Other Traditional topics for April to give new students a chance to write about customs and rituals in their lives “A chance to reminisce about memories of memorial or religious events which have stayed with us over time”.

‘Anzac Day’  Looking back over your lifetime, write about your memories of Anzac Day (or other memorial day) and its place in the cultural rituals of your family and the communities in which you have lived, moving from the personal to the political if you wish. OR

‘Easter’ Looking back over your lifetime, write about your memories of Easter (or other religious event) and its place in the cultural rituals of your family and the communities in which you have lived (Samples from our stories – eg. Molyullah Easter Fair).
​

Our second session for 2025, this coming Monday 17 March at 2pm in Room 1, will continue to incorporate an orientation for new members alongside the sharing of stories.  
 
A number of stories have already been sent in, however here are the topic suggestions if you need a reminder:
 
New Members: 
 
‘Failure’ ‘Write about a failure you’ve experienced – from the commonplace to the catastrophic – in 500 words’. (ABC Open April 2017) Resource: Some guidelines for writing a 500 word about 'Failure' (ABC Open Planning Sheet)
OR 
‘Success!’ –‘turn the guidelines for approaching the Failure story on their head by writing about a treasured success you’ve experienced – from the commonplace to the (almost…) world shattering, or in your world at least!’ 
It is of course fine to 'pass', or to share a story from February’s topics ‘New in Town’ or ‘I Was There’.  If you haven’t yet dipped your toes into the water with a first story, now could be the time.   Remember, it is often helpful to read Tips for Writing Your 500 Words from ABC Open.   Please don't feel constrained though - our aim is to enjoy writing; to further develop our own writing style and to share our writing with a positive and supportive audience.  
 
Returning Members:  Suggested topics - with the goal to write, as for beginners, to a 500-word limit.  
 
‘Reflecting on Covid on the 5th anniversary’  It’s the fifth anniversary of the Co-vid shutdown on 20th March.  A chance to reflect back on your memories and experiences then from the standpoint of time.  A dip into our Newsletter and stories at the time might refresh your memories. 
OR
‘Sisters’…  It’s International Women’s Month in March, a time to focus on women’s lives and stories.  Memoirs have been written about ‘Sisters’…for example, by Drusilla Modjeska. Write about some sisters in your family, whether your own, a parent’s, your children, your grandchildren, in a way which uncovers the strengths, the challenges, the joys of ‘sisterhood’…or perhaps a sister’s strength, creativity, perseverance, contributions. 
​
Of course, it's fine for new and returning members to select from any of the suggested topics!
 
Some members may have a 'catch up' story to share, and for long-term members, it’s fine to share or adapt a story you enjoyed writing in the past related to one of these topics'.
 
Of course, you can develop a ‘members choice’ topic of your own if a story topic has been triggered recently, or you have something you’ve always wanted to write about.
 
Remember, if you have been busy or had writer’s block, you can always present a catch-up story you haven’t shared yet; or simply pass and enjoy the stories shared by others.  Long-term members, it’s fine to share or adapt a story you enjoyed writing in the past related to one of these topics. For those who have written about one of these topics as part of an autobiography or other story collection, it’s fine to share this, tweaking the story to ‘fit’ the topic if necessary. 
 

 
Bev

This is the eleventh year of 'As Time Goes By' and, ten years on, we revisited the importance of reflecting on the impact of our experiences when writing memoir.   
 
We began by honouring founding 'As Time Goes By' class member Carole Marple, noting the way in which Carole's stories on the website each capture "a meaningful slice of life - a memory, a lesson, or an experience that stands out". Carole's story, 'My Other Life', in which she reflects on her life as a politician, was read in class to celebrate Carole's life.  Vale Carole.   

Group members shared stories including Carmyl’s sense of loss after the closing of a favourite cafe discovered when 'New in Town' and, for 'I Was There', Jan’s reflections on The Beatles visit to Melbourne in 1964; Joan’s memories of the Tall Ships visit to Melbourne in 1988; Ray’s recollections of the bushfires of 1951; and Neville’s childhood memories of observing life 'before indoor plumbing'.

‘This (…….) Life' stories also captivated, including ‘This (Pit Village) Life’ about June’s childhood in northern England during the severe winter of 1963; ‘This (Uncomplicated) Life' about James’ idyllic rural boyhood in New Zealand, and Delfina’s 'This (Serendipitous) Life' about a childhood interest in archaeology leading, by a circuitous route, to her studying Librarianship and becoming a bookseller.

Barry shared a catchup story about an interview which led him to reflect on valued parts of his life, while Bev reflected on memories of the Melbourne Cup over the years triggered by last year's Melbourne Cup.  We have one or two new stories waiting to be shared when members return to class; and several members still to dip their toes into the water! 

​It was delightful to begin to learn about the lives and memories of our new members during the session, and wonderful to be back sharing treasured moments in a welcoming, supportive environment with others who are also telling their stories.

Our topic suggestions for new members in March are 'Failure' or 'Success'; and, for returning members, 'Covid 5 years on' or, for this year's International Women's Day topic, 'Sisters'.  Details are included in the 'As Time Goes By' Topic List for 2025.

​Beverley Lee

Our holiday break is nearing its end, with our first class for 2025 only three weeks away.  Perhaps it's time to begin putting your thoughts on paper?   The '500 words' topics set last year for the holiday break ...

‘This (…….) Life ‘  Examples ‘This (Downsizing) Life’ by an 80+ year old about planning to farewell a loved home; ‘This (Number 8) Life’ about growing up as ‘Number 8’ in a family of nine children.   Also –see our ‘This (….) Life’ stories! OR
​
‘Triggers’  Keep a notebook close by during the break in which to note any ‘triggers’ which lead you to reminisce about a time in your lives.   You may have been talking to someone, watching television or a film, driving somewhere, reading a book.   Choose one to three of these - write about the memories evoked, keeping the total words to 500 – 750 words OR

‘Memoir Review’   Perhaps you’ll have time during the holiday break to read and reflect upon a memoir which has particular meaning for you, drawing on our  Deeper Dive memoir analysis sheet to write a review to share with the class. Here's the link:   'Memoir Review - Framework Suggestions'

The story topics  suggested for new class members in February ...

‘New in Town’ Have you ever been the new person in town? Or did someone else's arrival have a profound impact on you? Share your story in 500 words'. (a topic which works well for members relatively new to Benalla)  OR

'I Was There’…  Have you experienced a significant news, historical or cultural event first-hand? Share your personal piece of history in 500 words.

Class members can, of course, choose from any of these topics.

New class members are encouraged to write a story for the first class and may find may find this link to 'Tips for Writing your 500 Words Story' helpful.  However, it's fine to just come along, find out about what we do, listen to the stories shared and say 'Pass' if you haven't written a story to share.

Beverley Lee.  

Happy New Year!

Thank you so much to everyone for sharing your stories during 2024.  It is always such a delight when they arrive in my inbox.  

If you are re-enrolling next year and feel like writing during January, here are the holiday break/February topics to draw upon– bring your story/stories along to the first session on Monday 17 February 2025

‘This (…….) Life ‘  Examples ‘This (Downsizing) Life’ by an 80+ year old about planning to farewell loved home; ‘This (Number 8) Life’ about growing up as ‘Number 8’ in a family of nine children.   Also –see our ‘This (….) Life’ stories! OR
​
‘Triggers’  Keep a notebook close by during the break in which to note any ‘triggers’ which lead you to reminisce about a time in your lives.   You may have been talking to someone, watching television or a film, driving somewhere, reading a book.   Choose one to three of these - write about the memories evoked, keeping the total words to 500 – 750 words OR

‘Memoir Review’   Perhaps you’ll have time during the holiday break to read and reflect upon a memoir which you discovered has a particular meaning to you, drawing on our  Deeper Dive memoir analysis sheet to write a review to share with the class. Here's the link:   'Memoir Review - Framework Suggestions'

The story topics  suggested for new class members in February might appeal if you haven't already written on them, or if you would like to revisit them from a different angle, using a different move or event: 

‘New in Town’ Have you ever been the new person in town? Or did someone else's arrival have a profound impact on you? Share your story in 500 words'. (a topic which works well for members relatively new to Benalla)  OR

'I Was There’…  Have you experienced a significant news, historical or cultural event first-hand? Share your personal piece of history in 500 words.

Don't forget to let me know if you have ideas for story or icebreaker topics to add to the list for next year's program.

Have a wonderful year in 2025!

Bev

PS - A reminder that enrolment day is on Wednesday 15th January from 9.30 to 12 noon in the Seniors' auditorium. 

(This information is based on an email sent today and is an updated version of a post shared on 23 November)

With Michael Winkler (fourth from left), author of Grimmish and son of Carmyl, in attendance visiting us from Melbourne, individual members shared reflections on their year of memoir writing.

In summary Ray’s ‘life changing moment’ was an unexpected job offer whereas Heather’s was fallout from an Irish bomb explosion that resulted in a fourteen hour entrapment in a London subway. Bev’s ‘lost and (not) found’ story highlighted the burning of most of her undergraduate lecture notes while she was overseas, while Kathy’s significant focus has been the writing up of her mother’s story. Phil’s highlight over the year has been his participation in and contributions to memoir writing, particularly when he lets loose with his tongue-in-cheek creative bent.

‘One moment this year’ was the Diwali festival and Carmyl and John offered delightful perspectives not covered by the Benalla Ensign. For Carmyl, it was an invitation by her Indian neighbor to a very personal Diwali and, during the onshore festival, John and his wife Sally, were immersed within the light show as they paddled their kayaks across the lake.

Commencing our ‘Right Here Right Now’ stories, Delphina again entertained us with a convincing set of arguments, together with a colorful t-shirt, that no matter how many books one might possess, ‘if it is books, it is not hoarding’. Phil also entertained with his whimsical meditation on getting older, while Neville convinced some of our members, especially this author, that we were indeed getting older as we struggled to comprehend his meditation on time and space. 

Kathy, ‘right here, right now’ reflected on the ‘disappearing’ volunteer and concurrently acknowledged her need to let go some of her roles. That would be so if she was to ‘write a book, paint, garden and spend time having a coffee or two with her best friend’.

Also, on volunteering and in the ‘here and now’, community minded Barry shared concerns about regulations currently impacting on small rural volunteer based non-profit organisations.  Bev wrote in response to Barry’s story, describing how it had put her into ‘editorial mode’ leading her to research and better understand the issue herself. 

With many active volunteers from smaller rural non-profit organisations present, a feisty discussion followed!  This was received in good spirit and rewarded with what we might regard as a benediction from Ray.
​
Ray’s reflection on life without a mother was both emotionally engaging yet also offered insights into personal resilience. Ray’s joy is his family, and his shared wisdom will live on in his children and grandchildren.
 
Thank you Bev, for a very engaging, entertaining and rewarding year.
 
Graham Jensen

Thank you so much to everyone for engaging so fully in sharing your stories in 2024.  It is always such a delight when your stories arrive in my inbox.  If you feel like writing during the December/January Break here are the February  topics to draw upon– bring your stories along to the first session on Monday 17 February 2025

‘This (…….) Life ‘

Examples ‘This (Downsizing) Life’ by an 80+ year old about planning to farewell loved home; ‘This (Number 8) Life’ about growing up as ‘Number 8’ in a family of nine children.   Also –see our ‘This (….) Life’ stories!

‘Triggers’

Keep a notebook close by during the break in which to note any ‘triggers’ which lead you to reminisce about a time in your lives.   You may have been talking to someone, watching television or a film, driving somewhere, reading a book.   Choose one to three of these - write about the memories evoked, keeping the total words to 500 – 750 words

‘Memoir Review’

Perhaps you’ll have time during the holiday break to read and reflect upon a memoir which you discovered has a particular meaning to you, drawing on our  Deeper Dive memoir analysis sheet to write a review to share with the class. 
Here's the link:   'Memoir Review - Framework Suggestions'

There will also be some story topics for the new members to choose from (yet to be confirmed) if you haven't chosen them before.

During our sessions in October and November several members discussed enjoying the drama series on SBS 'So Long Marianne'.  Beautifully filmed, it draws extensively on memoir related writing by Leonard Cohen and writers, artists and poets who were his contemporaries. If might still be available during the break on SBS on demand.  This review is worth reading. https://www.sbs.com.au/whats-on/article/more-than-a-muse-so-long-marianne-delves-deep-into-the-agony-and-ecstasy-of-the-artistic-life/qsf0mxzcz

Don't forget to let me know if you have ideas for story or icebreaker topics for next year's programs.

Happy Festive Season to all!


Bev

A reminder of the next 'As Time Goes By' Memoir Writing class on Monday 18 November at 2pm. 
 
This month our ‘icebreaker’ will reflect the fact that we may be having a visitor and requires a little extra homework for you.  As it’s the end of the year, a short oral reflection on our writing this year is in order.  It doesn’t need to be long, the suggestion is to look through your stories for this year and select a story which for some reason is a ‘stand out’ for you – briefly explaining why you have chosen it. 
 
As it’s our final session for the year, it would also be wonderful if you could bring along something to share during our coffee break, perhaps something 'chocolate-y' or something celebrating the beginning of the festive season!
 
November’s topics –
 
‘Right Here, Right Now’  ‘A time capsule of the present.  Write a story about a situation currently unfolding in your life, right here, right now.’ OR
​
‘One Moment, This Year’    'Looking back on 2024 to date, what single moment stands out for you?  Whether it be loss, love, discovery or disappointment, share your unforgettable moment.'
​
Of course, you can develop a ‘members choice’ topic of your own if a story topic has been triggered recently, or you have something you’ve always wanted to write about.
 
Remember, if you have been busy or had writer’s block, you can always present a catch-up story you haven’t shared yet; or simply pass and enjoy the stories shared by others.  Long-term members, it’s fine to share or adapt a story you enjoyed writing in the past related to one of these topics. For those who have written about one of these topics as part of an autobiography or other story collection, it’s fine to share this, tweaking the story to ‘fit’ the topic if necessary. 
 
I look forward to seeing you on Monday 18 November at 2pm. 
 
Bev

Our October icebreaker, 'Play it again, Sam', a video segment from 'Casablanca' in which Ingrid Bergman listens to 'Sam' playing 'As Time Goes By', sparked memories of films which made lasting impressions.

Stories on the theme ‘A Steep Learning Curve’ illustrated personal moments of challenge and growth.  

Carmyl's story on becoming a youth worker at age 50 culminated in her abseiling from a wheat silo, while Bev M's story was equally unforgettable. As a new school boarder at 13, Bev was the only student who had never studied French and didn’t know the words of the Marseillaise. As the lone non-singer, she was told to stand up and sing it by herself. She did – with no idea of pronunciation or even tune.

In 2018, the St. James community decided to have murals painted on their silos, a steep learning curve for Kathy, who took on the task of Committee Secretary.  Working closely with artist Tim Bowtell, ten alternative subjects were offered to the St James community, with ‘Team of Horses’, ‘Grain’, ‘Bag Sewers’ and, of course, ‘G. J. Coles’ winning the vote.

Young Phil took his new girlfriend to the pub for a few drinks. A guy came over and had a few words with the girlfriend. She nodded and turned to Phil saying, ‘It’s OK. I’ll be quick and he pays well.’ It took Phil some time to work out what was going on.

Stories on the theme ‘Turning point’ highlighted how pivotal moments and relationships can reshape our lives in meaningful ways.

Delfina’s ‘Ode to Snails’ recalled next-door Mrs. A., who didn’t like Delfina. The feeling was mutual. Mrs. A. told Delfina to collect all the snails that were going into her elegant garden from Delfina’s family’s uncared-for block. Mrs. A. threw them into the copper incinerator fire, a turning point for Delfina, who was horrified and became a vegetarian from then on.

Teacher John took on the position of AFL coach for Grades 4 and 5 at Bargo Public School under sufferance. The ‘Bargo Bulldozers’ were so successful that the girls’ team won the state championship. The star, Ash Brazill, a former Collingwood player who now plays for Fremantle, gives the credit to her first coach.

Without any definite idea of a career, Heather returned to England in her early thirties. Encouraged by a cousin aware of her love of crime novels, Heather successfully applied to join the London Metropolitan Police.
 
Neville reflected on his resilient great-aunt’s daughter who ‘Started over’ many times, without complaint or explanation. She looked after his great aunt until she passed away; then moved in with a female friend for ten years until the friend contracted Alzheimer’s, and then went into Aged Care herself.

In ‘Communications’, Carmyl reflected on the value of letters in recording glimpses of people, places and life events in her life, concluding “where will the great-grandchildren find the old letters to tell them about the past?”

Max spent years ‘Riding the Rails’ as a telephone linesman for the Victorian Railways in motorised gangers’ trolleys known as 'Caseys’ (after Casey Jones).   One of the trickiest things was not being overtaken by a train. He described a couple of close shaves... ‘I don't know how I survived, really’. 

For ‘Someone Who Shaped Me’ Ray wrote about two inspirational friends, Rolfe Mann and Norm Matthews; and his much-loved wife of 57 years Bernadette, who as well as “creating a loving home environment …ensured that I ate 5 veggies per day and became a moderate alcohol consumer.”

In 'Relationships', Heather talked about family members, teachers, employers, colleagues and friends who shaped her life and gave her confidence.

Our story topics for November - ‘Right Here, Right Now’ ‘OR ‘One Moment, This Year’


Carmyl Winkler

"You must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh ..."​

(Alternative link if sound doesn't work ​https://www.facebook.com/share/r/W4FxpCpLp86wQkYt/ )

Stories this month began with ‘Someone who shaped me’. Carmyl wrote ‘…I’ll never forget the Pleasant Street Methodist Guide Company and our ‘Cap’(short for Captain)’, the “quietly spoken Miss Edna Perry”, who rode her bike to Guides and “always had an interesting program prepared which would include the guide promise, a game or two, singing some fun songs and some badge work”.

Carmyl’s story and a vintage ‘Bob a Job’ poster led to much discussion about groups belonged to as children and adolescents.

In a different vein, Barry described how making an unexpectedly strong response to being humiliated by a football coach in his youth has shaped his responses to similar situations throughout his life.

In a poignant story, ‘Jesus Weeps’, Delfina described how a young nun’s warning when she was 6 years old that “Jesus weeps when you throw away good food” has remained with her throughout her life.

‘Relationship’ stories included Ray’s reflections on people across his life, commencing with Ron O’Connor who he shared a desk with in sub-intermediate – “We were generally known as ‘Oke’ and ‘Os’, (O’Connor and O’Shannessy)”.  James’ story of meeting, then life with, his loved partner Karin for 46 years, was particularly moving, ending ‘Best relationship I have ever had!’  

John drew upon his relationship over time with his parents, describing a happy childhood growing up on a farm, then tragedy and the need to support his parents in his early 20’s when his sister, then first cousin and later his brother, passed away. 

Phil’s story added further insights to our understanding of his relationship with his parents after coming to Australia in 1967 as ‘Ten Pound Poms’, while Bev revisited an amusing story featuring relationships between neighbours, ‘Our Back Yard’.

Lou read his gripping sequel to ‘My First Job’, where his desperate search for a job as a homeless 15-year-old in Marrickville led to a job making the lids for ‘Thunder Boxes’!  In ‘A Sense of Place’, James reflected on the factors leading to his strong feeling of connection to Yundool, where he has lived for the past few years.

Neville’s story this month ‘First Memories’ evoked childhood memories in others, including the eerie experience of being hospitalised as a young child; while Max’s story ‘The Bushfire Fencers’, shared memories of volunteering with a locally organized bushfire fencing team working on properties affected by the bushfires of February 2008.

For those who would like to join us as a ‘taster’ on October 21 from 2 to 4 pm, next month’s 500 Words story topics are - ‘Steep Learning Curve’.  Write about a time in your life when you were on a steep learning curve. Perhaps your life suddenly took a different direction with an unexpected change of job, or other circumstances.  How did it feel when you were taking the plunge… did you feel you were ‘thrown in at the deep end’.  How did you cope? Did you ’wing it’, ‘fly by the seat of your pants, or were you strategic? Did resilience play a role? How do you feel about the experience on reflection? OR  ‘U-Turn’  or ‘Turning Point’ or ‘Starting Over’ – A chance to write about a sudden change of direction, a turning point in your life, a time when you ‘started over’, when life took you back to square one – however large or small!


​Bev Lee

Stimulated by Carmyl's story of being shaped by her girl guide captain and by being a member of guides, and the following vintage tea towel, we divided into pairs to reflect on these questions -  "What do you remember about groups you belonged to as a young person; was there anyone in the group who shaped you in any way?  Do you have any special memories related to this to share?" 

Bev’s recount of how a backyard incinerator consumed a cherished set of university lecture notes led us again into a fascinating and engaging labyrinth of memories, reflections and nostalgia.  

With a death-defying leap across windowsills in Earl’s Court, Neville’s life would be changed forever while, on the continent, Delfina’s 1969 gap year, with peak experiences delightfully catalogued for us, nurtured her emergent respect for history and for storytellers.

Lost and never found was John’s beloved ‘4 on the floor’ HR Holden. Gleaming white with black panels! We shared John’s anguish as he discovered it stolen from a prime parking site in Melbourne.

Told that an album of precious photos and documents had been destroyed, twenty-five years later Barry was delighted to realise, ‘that which had been thought lost’, was in fact intact and returned to him.

Immediately identifiable, if not from actual experience, certainly through imagined fear, was Heather’s experience of losing a three-year-old toddler in a large shopping center. Found in the gardening section, this young nephew brought relief and horror as he revealed himself covered in soil and the plants of his choosing. 

‘A paean to the sixties’ was in fact a nostalgic lament to an age that is Delfina’s ‘light on the hill’. Can a siren call us again to a kinder and more tolerant Australia? Where might Delfina find hope?  Ray brought us home to the kindness and care that he found in Benalla. Special relationships for him are the key to a happy life. 

Phil’s return to Lady Northcote’s Children’s Farm, with a much older former resident who is also a member of Benalla U3A, was an unexpected yet enjoyed revisiting which Phil would otherwise not have sought. 

Aceh in 1961, Carmyl was introduced to a very different lifestyle and diet. Rising to the challenges she and Don embraced a new language, a new diet and new friends. These experiences would infuse a life of community service. Finally, Max returned us to Victoria and good days with good friends.

As we have explored and shared our life stories within the ATGB, we have been gifted opportunities for remembering, healing and reconciliation. Thank you, Bev!

The details of our September topics – ‘Relationships’ and ‘Someone Who Shaped Me’ - are available below, in the topic guide and will be included in the reminder email for our next session on Monday September 16 at 2pm.

Graham Jensen

​Next Month’s Stories  - September 16

Suggested for continuing students - ‘Relationships’
Remember and describe a relationship between two people which has been important to you, perhaps in modelling the things you learnt to apply, or learnt to avoid, in relationships.  How did the people in the relationship meet, what do you remember about their relationship, what did you learn from it and your relationship with them?   OR
Reflect on a time when establishing boundaries was important in your life, whether in personal relationships; family relationships, at work or in other settings.  It could be as simple as establishing boundaries with a pet.  Share your story in 500 words. 

Suggested for new/newer students - ‘Someone Who Shaped Me’
How did you become who you are?  Think about someone who has influenced your life and get started!

Bev Lee

Who had a backyard incinerator - if you click on the link, the comments are interesting...
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=3356192501077996&id=203657002998244&set=a.203679546329323 

What games did you play when you were young that involved physical movement?
 
With this icebreaker, we soon acknowledged that the variety of games we engaged in when young were linked to our age, the physical environment in which we were nurtured and our national or cultural heritage.
 
Under the theme of a life changing event, Phil generously and courageously recounted an horrific accident in which he was involved. Bev structured this recounting to provide maximum support for both Phil and the group. Thanks Phil and Bev.
 
Carmyl followed this moving account by disclosing her special project as a nuclear physicist working with the Peter MacCallum Clinic. She measured atmospheric impacts of the nuclear explosions at Maralinga and revealed her skills in working with scientific data.
 
Phil then returned to recounting his driving career and acknowledged that his gap year was in fact an unplanned opportunity for a trip to England and Germany with his wife. The initial catalyst was a period of grief and depression, but the gap year culminated as a great holiday. They had a ‘ball’.  James bedazzled us with his gap year in Europe also. For James, losing 4 stone (25 kilos) in two weeks shearing in Wales was a stand-out feature.   James, ultimately, was shearing 200 Jacob sheep a day.
 
Ray filled a ‘gap’ for us as 1945 was the year he repeated his final year of primary school to obtain a residential scholarship in Ballarat. This was proceeded by a ‘stitching up’ from 11-year old Patricia, who clearly had a weight advantage.
 
Max entertained with a recounting of an 8/10 year olds’ memory of his dad’s return from fighting with the Australian forces. A treasure trove of memorabilia and a swathe of cigarettes  accompanied him.  Then followed an insight, from Max, into the brain of a very ambitious but probably not very skilled, aspiring sportsman. Barry’s brilliant career as a fleet salesman brightened the firmaments but was characterized by an equally distinctive crash to earth with the arrival of the fringe benefits tax (FBT).
 
David shared part one of his Gap Year experience on board a shipment of Hereford cattle bound for Santiago in Chile. The troublesome journey was a lesson for many, perhaps for David, the value of sharing one’s own truth midst attempts to hide a more embarrassing reality for his employers. 
 
Finally, from Lou, a story about his first job in Sydney after running away from his home in Canberra at the age of 15. A night sleeping with the cows just out of Goulburn, was followed by a night at the Hub, a ‘men’s only environment’ in Marrickville, with a cross dressing male serving in the kitchen and a warning to be careful. (A tale to be continued).

At our next 'As Time Goes By' Memoir Writing class on Monday 19 August at 2pm. the topic for continuing members is – ‘Lost and Found’ - ‘Write about a time you lost something you owned, treasured, or believed in - and the lengths you went to, to get it back.  Maybe it was a precious family heirloom you misplaced, an adventurous toddler who wandered out of sight, or perhaps you lost your way in an unfamiliar place.  Take us on the search to find your lost thing.  How did the loss affect you and those around you?  Were you reunited?  Was it back to   business as usual, or did your life change in ways you could never imagine?’ For new/newer class members, ‘Sense of Place’ –Write about a community to which you feel you have strong connections in some way, even if you never lived there for a time.  What has led to this feeling of connection?  How has it expressed itself/do you understand it? 

Of course, you can choose from either the ’continuing’ or ’new’ member topics, a story from our topic list or make up your own topic!

​Graham Jensen

Think about games or fads you spent hours on as a child, or any obsession you (or one of your children, other relatives) had as a child which took up hours and hours! Hula Hoops, Yo Yo's... etc. Highlight games or fads which also improved physical health, eye/hand/arm coordination in some way….
​

This month's icebreaker on collections, especially  home libraries*, resulted in the sharing of original ideas for physical, electronic and memory libraries. A library of ‘dad jokes’, was one that could be especially useful for the grand-fathers amongst us. Yet no library would be comparable to Delfina’s.

'Catch up' tales related to 'Time Travelling' and 'Travel' followed. A revisit to his old classroom of fifty years ago, led Neville to recount a nostalgic tale of one of his favourite teachers, ‘Nick Cave’s dad’. David delightfully detailed a walk through Japan with his two sons, offering salutary advice to always check your boots for comfort prior to embarkation. Neville disturbingly, led us into the labyrinth of his post-retirement dreams/nightmares.

On this months theme 'My Brilliant Career', Carmyl shared with us excerpts from an irregular column she wrote for the local newspaper under the pseudonym of Mrs Hinchcliffe, who argued and bargained with God, in anticipation of the merged Uniting Church. Meanwhile James introduced us to the 1% club as he tracked his illustrious career from military aviation to his unexpected success as a sales representative. Max reminisced with stories of his Big Blue Bin and Bev surprised us all in sharing her brief career as a film producer and editor. (Such hidden talent, although her online production and editing of our contributions, suggested this was an area of historic depth). 

Looking through a different lens, Ray chronicled a short, less than brilliant career as an insurance salesman early in his working life which led to a change of direction and public recognition as a fellow of the Institute of Chartered Accountants.  Delfina entertained us exposing her short career as Secretary of the Italian Chamber of Commerce. Without typing or other basic secretarial skills, she was surely employed on the basis of her wit and charm.   On the other hand Heather H. exposed her ‘brilliant’ career trekking from Veterinarian nurse to HR Manager and Phil shared his pleasure in deciding not become a truckie, like his dad, to start his career as an electroplate apprenticeship and which circled back to truck driving.

​Our final theme was 'Rebellion' and John entertained us with a story of a foreign rebellion on U.S. soil at Camp Ockanickon. John’s not insignificant role in this rebellion was reflected in an Aussie flag flying proudly beneath the British and US flags. And Barry reminded us of the importance of righteous rebellion against injustice and inequity.

Topics for July 15, a very early third Monday this time, are: 

‘My Gap Year’  Write about a time when you took, or circumstances meant that you took, time out from your ‘regular’ life or veered off an intended path for a year or so.  What happened?  What did you learn from doing so? (Member’s Choice Topic – Bev Morton 2022)

‘My ( …. )’  As we go through life the beginnings and endings of 'life stages' can be marked with events. Looking back over your life, think about an event, the stage it marked, and the results, hopefully fruits of this transition.  (If you have been in the class for some time, pick a life stage which you haven’t written about before).

 
​Graham Jensen

​*Reflections on Home Libraries (and other collections)

There are things in life that we need to always have plenty of supplies, even if we will only use a small portion.  “If, for example, we consider books as medicine, we understand that it is good to have many at home rather than a few:  when you want to feel better, then you go to the ‘medicine closet’ and choose a book.  Not a random one, but the right book for that moment.  That’s why you should always have a nutrition choice!  “Those who buy only one book, read only that one and then get rid of it.  They simply apply the consumer mentality to books, that is, they consider them a consumer product, a good.  Those who love books know that a book is anything but a commodity”.

Optional Writing Task  Write  about a collection you have which includes being able to choose ‘the right …. for that moment’  When did you start the collection, how did it grow? Give an example of some examples of when you have chosen from it for the moment….What decisions do you or have you faced about its future? 

Next months topics - July 15

‘My Gap Year’
Write about a time when you took, or circumstances meant that you took, time out from your ‘regular’ life or veered off an intended path for a year or so.  What happened?  What did you learn from doing so?
(Member’s Choice Topic – Bev Morton 2022) - u3abenalla.weebly.com/beverleys-page/my-gap-year
​
‘My ( …. )’
As we go through life the beginnings and endings of 'life stages' can be marked with events. Looking back over your life, think about an event, the stage it marked, and the results, hopefully fruits of this transition.  (If you have been in the class for some time, pick a life stage which you haven’t written about before).

​Our May icebreaker evoked lots of memories, evident in a particularly noisy room while memories of ‘My First Job’ were shared in pairs!
 
Carmyl reviewed a rare book ‘Education of a Princess - a memoir by Marie, Grand Duchess of Russia’ (1931), describing being impressed by “the honesty of the account of a life which had very few satisfying episodes… to be able to write this book fifteen years after escaping Russia was a fine achievement”.
 
A program of catch-up stories preceded ‘intermission’, including ‘Her Story’, Phil’s delightful memories of his mother, Betty … “hard working, a figure of strength, a beautiful singer, and the best Mum of all.” On last month’s ‘My (Best, Worst, other) Holiday’, Barry’s ‘My (Best Steak) Holiday Memory’ and
 
Phil’s reflections on a ‘Mystery Tour’ involving the elusive ‘Baz’ both contained comedic elements. Neville’s ‘Easter’ story captured the life stage of 20-ish young man returning from Melbourne to the family farm each Easter keen to party, play music and have fun, and a father’s capacity to prick his conscience about spending more time at home and helping with the milking! On the topic ‘Discrimination’, James bravely shared his reflections on discrimination he faced as a New Zealander seeking work in Australian 43 years ago and the ways he found to work around and attempt to overcome it over time.
 
After ‘intermission’, May’s topic ‘Time Travelling’, brought forth engaging, thought-provoking stories. Graham, Carmyl and John ‘looked behind them to see the future in their footprints’, while Barry, Heather and Delfina ‘travelled through time to find a younger version of themselves and share a life lesson or lessons they have learned’
 
For the alternate topic ‘Memories Treasure Chest’, Ray shared fond memories of a life time as a bowler in which he participated in competitions and often won premierships, while James recalled as a boy collecting birds eggs, coins, badges relating to attainments in cubs, scouts and life-saving, with more badges added later as he rose through the ranks from air cadet to receiving his own pair of wings as a young pilot. He ended…“Now I collect wine every week for pleasure…… Has to be a Red, mainly Shiraz!!”

Next month’s topics - Inspired by the books of Miles Franklin and recommended for continuing class members ‘My Brilliant Career’ or ‘My Career Went Bung’; and for newer class members, ‘Rebellion’. Details are included below**, in the course handout and will be sent out in a reminder email during the month.
 
Each month, ‘life’s rich tapestry’ resonates in our stories. A thread of comments and anecdotes in a number of stories this month caused pause for reflection on our experiences of the gendered nature of the world we inherited and gender related issues we have observed across the many decades in which we have lived and worked and brought up families.
 
Thank you to class members for your preparedness to share your stories. It is such a joy to read them when they arrive in my email or letter box each month, and to observe the encouragement and support you give one another during our sessions.
 
Bev Lee

**Topics for June -

For continuing class members, the theme is - ‘My Brilliant Career’ and/or ‘My Career Went Bung’ (Miles Franklin)

Miles Franklin’s ‘My Brilliant Career’ and its thoughtful sequel. ‘My Career Went Bung’ closely mirror events in her life. 

Reflecting back on your life, flesh out the story of (one of) your brilliant career(s), sharing with us the highs, the lows, the struggles, it’s meaning to you, and more, OR

Reflect back on a time when your ‘My Career Went Bung’. Set the scene by sharing with us the nature of your career before it ‘went bung’, what appeared to have happened, why, what it meant to you, and whether perhaps other doors opened up to you as a result.

​For new/newer students, a topic to get your teeth into…. ‘Rebellion’

An act of rebellion!  Have you ever challenged authority, defied expectations or fought for your beliefs? Choose a single, defining act of rebellion in your life & tell us about it

Of course, you can choose from either the ’continuing’ or ’new’ member topics!
​
if you have been busy or had writer’s block, you can always present a catch-up story you haven’t shared yet; share a 'members' choice’ story, or simply pass and enjoy the stories shared by others.  Long-term members, it’s fine to share a story you enjoyed writing in the past on one of these topics, while for those who have written about one of these topics as part of an autobiography or story collection, it’s fine to share this, tweaking the story to ‘fit’ the topic if necessary.  

​If there was a theme woven our memoirs at our April session, it might have been that of a ‘coming of age’.

After Bev’s invitation to reflect and share stories of the Great Depression, and Margaret and Carmyl tabling their recent published collations of memoirs, Bev suggested publishing options as a future focus for our group.

If there was a theme woven our memoirs at our April session, it might have been that of a ‘coming of age’.

After Bev’s invitation to reflect and share stories of the Great Depression, and Margaret and Carmyl tabling their recent published collations of memoirs, Bev suggested publishing options as a future focus for our group.

‘Scars’, the opening theme of our memoirs, were an outer indicator of significant physical or emotional events in the life for both Carmyl and Graham. Whereas a trip to the NASCAR races in the USA was a most ‘memorable holiday’ for Heather W and opened up possibilities for envisaging similar racing in Australia.

Whereas Ray’s trip through England, France, Spain and Northern Ireland reflected the professional planning skills of his daughter, resulting in an unforgettable holiday, Neville’s trip to Sydney introduced him to a world inhabited by a most mysterious and compassionate aunt, a beautiful cousin and younger Down syndrome relative.

Heather’s cruise from Australia to England encompassed the most memorable and the most dramatic experiences of her life while John’s ‘just come and paddle ‘ invitation down the Goulburn River was one never to forget.

For Max, contact with ‘could have been Anzacs’ veterans was an early honoured experience whose character sketches drawn by Max intrigued members of the group.

The May theme for continuing students is ‘Time Travelling’ -  ‘about looking behind you…. yet being present’ - with a choice of two topics - Time Travelling #1 '‘When you look behind you, you see the future in your footprints’ (suggested by Graham Jensen) OR  Time Travelling #2 ’You've travelled through time and encounter a younger version of yourself. What life lesson (or lessons) would you share?  (suggested by Barry O’Connor).

New, or newer participants, are encouraged to create/draw upon a ‘Memories Treasure Chest’ in a shoe box, drawer or old case containing objects and artefacts that enliven your memories, through scent and feel.  Maps, menus, theatre programs, an old report card, vials of perfume, a garment, treasured photographs, a souvenir, an expired passport can sometimes trigger a work rich with detail.  Select two items from the treasure chest as creative prompts – what do they mean to you?  What were you doing, why; what were you thinking at the time this object related to your life?   (250 words each object)

​
Graham Jensen

Discussion of an amusing column in a recent Tatong Tattler by U3A member Andi Stevenson as a ‘stand-up comedy like’ form of memoir began our March session.  Andi, who has just had her ears pierced, writes about shifting from viewing earrings as a problem during her ‘bush bashing’ teenage years and lifetime of work in farming, to seeing them having great potential to identify mobile numbers to protect her through years of forgetfulness! The use of ear tagging stock for keeping track of the origin and movements of cattle, Andi concludes, is a perfect model for her own adornments.

Heather Hartland’s thoughtfully written story tracking the progress of equality for women in the defence forces then led us into ‘Her Story’ - a group of stories celebrating women in our lives.

Barry reflected on his mother’s generation and the role his mother and aunties played during and after the war. Carmyl’s mother Florence (Beth) played a less high-profile role but was no less influential. The conclusion to her father’s tribute to Beth in the newspaper said much:  ‘So loved, so loving, so lovely’.

For Ray, ‘Auntie Kath’ provided a major reference point for his life and for the joy missing from much of his formative years. In a second memoir, through the threads of his life, “Your God’s” grace was a frequent feature.

Jocelyn’s career frustrations were an impetus for her son James’ later academic achievements. ‘Born in the wrong generation’, her career aspirations as a teacher were put on hold to support her farmer-husband. Later writing her life story and volunteering abroad, she offered James the incentive to see visions and dream dreams.

Graham wrote his introduction to his mum, Joy, in the first person. ‘Joy’ articulated and scoped her heritage which would be the foundation for her later achievements in the business world.  His cousin Heather’s many quality features were enumerated by Neville, as was the influence of her family heritage. ‘Generous to a fault’, Heather was honored through Neville’s memoir.

For our final story in celebration of International Women’s Day, Bev chose to recognize journalist and documentary maker Anne Deveson.  Anne’s memoir ‘Tell Me I’m Here’, which recounts her experiences with her son Jonathon, who had paranoid schizophrenia, became a pivotal text for Bev’s understanding of a blended family tragedy and her work as a social worker. 

Our main ‘500 words’ topic for our April session is ‘The (eg Best, Worst, most memorable, …) Holiday/s I ever had’…’  A chance to write about the best, happiest, worst, or most memorable holiday (or holiday period) you ever had.  Lead us through the events which shaped your view of the holiday, allowing us to share in your elation or disappointment.   Alternatively, you could choose a topic traditionally offered in April which provides “A chance to reminisce about memories of memorial days or religious events, such as Anzac Day or Easter, which have stayed with us over time”.


Graham Jensen

​What forms does our 'memoir' group use?  

Yes  -  Micro slices of our lives  -  Icebreakers - used to start the session; may have a theme eg.  'The Corner Shop', 'Gone Fishing';  'My happy place'; sometimes we write them, mostly we share them with a 'pair'

Yes  -  Mini slices of our lives - 500 Words Stories on a topic - at least two choices and a members' choice option each month 

No -    Macro slices of our lives -   Memoirs in book form?   No - but we encourage you to read memoirs and think about the theme and subthemes they have chosen as the focus of their memoir

How can you 'fit' in the class if your focus is on writing an autobiography?  This is a decision for you to make, however consider the following... you could

1.  Draw upon a 'slice' of what you have already written which fits with a monthly topic, tweaking if this seems worthwhile for class, but in most cases keeping as is in what you have already written.  
2.  Write on a monthly topic to keep your 'writing side of the brain' 'fit' and ready for writing in your chosen form - ie. autobiography or book length memoir.
3.. Respond to a topic freshly by writing about it.  It could trigger other memories!   Then, think about whether it does indeed have a place in your autobiography.
4.  Write on the monthly topics and over time organise them to a time-line based publication of your selected stories.  

Some features of the group....

Why memoir writing?  What can memoir do - what are the good features of memoir writing - why do it?

The As Time Goes By webpage - The web-page and 'our stories', 'stories by topic', and more  https://u3abenalla.weebly.com/home2

Anything to share today?

Any questions?  

Thanks for finding the time to come today!

Bev

Discussion of U3A member Andi Stevenson's recent Gawn to Town column as a ‘stand-up comedy like’ form of memoir began our March session.  Andi, who has just had her ears pierced, writes about shifting from viewing earrings as a problem during her ‘bush bashing’ teenage years and lifetime of work in farming, to seeing them having great potential to identify her mobile number to protect her through years of forgetfulness! The use of ear tagging stock for keeping track of the origin and movements of cattle, Andi concludes, is a perfect model for her own adornments.  

..Title/subtitle/ ‘Gawn to Town’

• Author:  Andi Stevenson (also a U3A member)
• Subtitle/’lens’ or focus:  'a ‘life stage’ change in decision making about body modification and image'  ‘an amusing story about how Andi’s attitude and decisions about ear piercing changed over time’
• Universal themes: at least two eg. Career loss; midlife crisis; motherhood/fatherhood; grief; etc  In this case - perhaps, life stages, body image?
• Highlight – how it related to something in/about your life; etc.  Over to you!

• Resource:  https://www.bradley.edu/sites/bodyproject/disability/modification/

Feel about writing a paragraph or two reflecting on body modification and body image in relation to your life? ... Earrings, tattoos, false eyelashes, even tanning… wiglets, corsets, padded bras, what about ‘orthodontic’ work; breast implants or reductions; other?“


​Bev Lee

​Bev welcomed our new member Helen, and offered, by introduction, the history of the group and some basic principles of how we work. A one-on-one ice-breaker followed where we shared ‘my happy place’ and then we introduced to the group our pair. We honored Jenny McKenna, who had recently died, by reading one of her memoirs.

Memoirs today were offered under two themes, ‘I was there’ and ‘Life changing’.

Neville ’was there’ for the celebration of the death of Collingwood’s ‘Colliwobbles’, on the 6th of October 1990. Bev ‘was there’ below the balcony of the Southern Cross Hotel in 1964, a quiet observer among the ‘screamers’ welcoming the Beatles. Carmyl ‘was there’ in Launceston, celebrating the end of the Second World War in 1945.

A direct experience of an IRA bombing in London was life-changing for Heather, resulting in a determination to build her own unique career path and begin a journey of faith. James inspired us with his life-changing journey through cancers and a number of major operations revealing his resilience and courage. Graham’s life was changed after meeting Kevin Gilbert when Graham was a guest of the government in Long Bay Gaol and Ray chartered his path to accounting qualifications and memberships requiring years of determination, application and focus.

Phil introduced us to an FX Holden (48-215) bought with his son as a piece of history. As a surprised Englishman, Phil soon learnt that he had bought a significant piece of Australian history which the family proudly displayed for years afterward.     David gently invited us to recognise the importance of praise in a young man’s journey through farm management and journalism, while Jill courageously shared with us her very difficult path recovering from rheumatic fever and the resultant anxiety of searching for a place of belonging and identity.

It’s international women’s Month in March, a time for continuing class members to reflect on a matriarchal line in their family, or write about a cherished (or otherwise remembered) female family member.  The topic -  ‘Her Story’.  The alternative topic, suggested by one of our class members, is ‘Discrimination’, a chance to reflect upon on how discrimination relating to one or more ‘isms’, may have impacted on our lives, family or a family member.

New and newer class members are encouraged to write on the topics 'Failure' or ‘'Heart Break', drawing on ABC Open’s guidelines for these topics which are available below and will also be emailed out during the month. 

Full details of all topics are included below and in the handout of topics for 2024 and on the webpage.  Feel free to choose from either list!  Also, if you weren’t able to join the class in February, it’s fine to share a story from the February topic list. 
 
Graham Jensen and Bev Lee